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Dear S:
I'm not completely sure if I really am going to send you this, this is not easy for me and I know it wouldn't be easy for you if you ever find out about this letter.
Do you remember those times in 2016 when we were as close as touching each other butts whenever we were passing behind each other at Scout? Well, those times seem lost for me, I don't regret being with that girl and you sure don't regret being with that guy, but I still want to know if those times will ever come back.
I know we both have grown into adults and our minds aren't as innocent as they were 4 years ago, but I still wonder if those times could be back and not just be a memory. I've realized that you're the only one that doesn't judge me as harshly as everyone and you're the only one that has stayed on my life despite us not seeing each other everyday. We communicate on a regular basis and even without it, I feel like you're there for me the same way I'm always here for you...
I think I'm starting to feel in love with you but in this global situation is not ideal for me to tell you. I'm not even sure that I love you in that way, because I know I love you as a friend but I'm so insecure and afraid to screw up with my best friend that I don't feel comfortable opening my feelings for something I'm not completely sure I feel. I really love you but I'm starting to become confused with the love you give me and the love you really feel for me.
I don't know for sure what I feel and I'm really putting a lot of thought into this. I've told you I've been sleeping a lot less than I'm actually accustomed to, but I haven't told you that you're the reason why I haven't gotten a good-night rest. I've been thinking a lot about that moment when we were texting and we confessed each other our mutual interest in being together and even though I was just starting my relationship with that girl, I felt really shocked and hyperventilated because that girl never made me feel like that...
I know for a fact that I'm going to be there for you any time at any place, but I don't know if I want to be there just as a friend or as your partner. When we talked about your dream wedding and me knowing you so well that I knew exactly what and where you wanted to have it...
I was incapable of not picture you in a long white dress, walking down the aisle with the sun glowing in a perfect sunset right into your veil and me lifting it, revealing your gorgeous face being lighted up by that amazing sunset and the minister getting ready to start the ceremony of our wedding...
I hope some day I make up my mind about what I feel and either tell you, send you this letter or forgetting about all of this and letting it slide through time...
I really love you a lot and I really hope you to find out that I'm the one that's for you...
I know I've said this a lot of times, but I can't imagine myself making a better choice than not letting that bus pass and getting up in the next one. In that bus, on that rather hot Saturday of March on 2015, I found my best friend, my closest confident and most likely, the only woman that I can say it's my soulmate.
Love, D.
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Hey, you are on the right path but it's better to let your feelings out then bottle it in trust me it really helps. I hope this helps
ReplyThanks for the advice. It's just that I'm not sure if I really feel that I'm in love with her and what if I screw it up by telling her something that I don't really know I feel? It's complicated but I really appreciate your advice and the possible advices that this might get. Thanks a lot!
ReplyNo problem. Hope you find about how you feel and I wish you good luck!
Reply