Goodbye

To *him*,

I love you, but I can’t do this anymore. I have fought for this and for you for so long but my heart can’t take it anymore. I’ve tried to understand you and be patient with you but I can’t do it anymore, I get absolutely nothing from you. I don’t even get the bare minimum. Every time I ask you to give me the bare minimum, I disrespect myself even more. You don’t ask me how I am, you don’t say good morning or good night, you don’t call me anymore, you don’t even compliment me. You proposed to me and in a matter of 2 months you turned around and changed up on me. I will never forgive you for breaking my heart like this. It went from “baby I love you so much” to “you’re not my type”. From “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you” to “I don’t want to be with you”. I explained my past to you and I explained my hurt, I told you how vulnerable I was and yet you still decided to break my heart and hurt me anyway. I don’t understand how something so sweet can turn so bitter, so fast. I can’t quite pin point where it all went wrong but truth is it was never really right was it? I thought you were the love of my life and my soul mate, I was prepared to spend the rest of my life loving you, being with you and trying to make you happy. I really wanted to be that person for you. I wanted to show you how a real relationship should be, how it feels to be loved unconditionally, to be with someone who loves all your flaws, knows your not perfect but loves you anyway. Everything I wanted in someone, I wanted to be that person for you. You’ve shattered my heart and I’ll be dammed if I let another guy know me or be close to me like that again. I’ve had a hard time letting you go, but I’m finally done. This is the end. It is done. I’ve held on to you for so long but it’s time I let you go.

You were supposed to be my forever, I really wanted that to be you. I know my place now and it ain’t with you. I don’t belong with you, my heart doesn’t belong with you.. it never really has, I’ve just always wanted it to. I still do care and I always will, you have held a huge part in my life. This is not what I wanted, I do this because I have to, but I would have loved and cared for you forever. You’ve lost a good woman. I’ve lost myself trying to love you and it’s time I get her back. You do not deserve me and I do not deserve this. I want to be with you but not like this. I’m doing what’s best for me and you no longer bring me peace or joy, so I am done. Thank you for the lesson, but never again will you get this chance.

This is goodbye..