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Its hard to live up to expectations i’ve created in my head. expectations i’ve fabricated from my own perception of others perception of me. its never good enough. there’s always a reason to change for others. im beyond starving for it (ravenous). the praise from others. the praise i so little give too myself. and for others, it dose not come without jealousy. anxiety. longing. longing to be like them. they can see. see through my attempt to potray my expectations. they laugh. who am i? who am i really? for i am nothing to myself, if “myself” is for others. myself. me. perfectly imperfect.
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I also feel like you, to the point where I'm confused about whether to blame other people's hopes or mine. I got bad grades recently and I cried all night, I hope you are not like me, because it hurts so much, I almost wanted to die because of this. Please keep fighting, I'm sure one day we can definitely be happy with ourselves.
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