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Loneliness is when you are by myself, not surrounded by your friends.
when you can't run away from the parallel gossips in your head.
when you feel that there is a piece missing inside you and you don t know how to fill it
when you pity yourself.
when you are surfing on the Facebook feeds at 3 am because you don't want to surrender to the ghost of loneliness that is chasing you...
No one will care about what issues you are passing by, taking time to tell others, and expect their understanding is a wastage of energy and feelings.
How to not feel lonely without the need to engage me in a relationship?
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Loneliness boils down to 2 key things;
1. We are a social species, which means that even the most introverted person needs human contact to some degree.
2. When you begin emotionally relying on others. This is usually a self esteem issue or self worth issue. You can't seem to justify your own existence to your own mind, so the need for some form of acceptance and approval focuses on getting it from an external source.
The first step in the journey to being ok when you're alone, is to make sure that you actually have outside connections. It quickly becomes paradoxical in nature as you can't invest your own worth in others.
It gets more and more complicated from there and at some point you begin to question just what kind of God would even allow your consciousness to exist.
If you're having troubles with that, feet not. For I have some things that MAY work for you.
Your first mission, should you choose to accept it, is to invest in meditation. The requisites of this mission require you to accept that you feel lonely, sad and left out. Accepting those emotions and learning to understand them can help you traverse them more easily.
Your second mission is to get out of your comfort zone and go do something constructive. Volunteer st a local homeless shelter, vet clinic, nursing home or whatever you can find.
Being able to see the effects of your efforts can boost a sense of connection and make you feel more welcome and needed.
Your final mission, join any nearby clubs you might be interested in if there are any around. Even a book club would suffice. Or, you can join a church or mosque if you're religiously inclined. Any place where you can congregate with others which develops a sense of community and connection. Which should help the feelings of loneliness.
Bonus mission: if you don't currently have one, try to get a job. It'll eat up your time and provide outside stimulus that may distract you from your emotional state. You can also utilize the time to try to make some rudimentary connections and to do something somewhat meaningful.
Extra Credit: if you've managed to do all these things and find that you're still experiencing bouts of loneliness, it may not be just loneliness. It may be depression. So as a precursor to all of this, try to get some professional help if needed.
Finale: and if you've made it this far, and you're ok with your time being alone. THEN you can think about going out and finding a relationship.
Don't go out trying to find someone, expecting them to make you feel all better. It's unfair to them because of the expectations and excess weight of having to carry all of that, and it's unfair to you because it'll very likely end badly, fulfilling a self fulfilling prophecy of loneliness and worthlessness. But if you're ok with your emotions and you can handle them all on your own, then you can be an actually good partner and you may just find a long term companion if your journey through life.
This message will self destruct in 5 hours
ReplyThank you so much
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