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Hello Humans, I’m a lesbian who has Tokophobia (fear of pregnancy and/or childbirth). I’m a butch (masculine) lesbian so I will never ever ever have a baby, but here’s the thing: No offense but whenever I see pregnancy on TV or in real life, I’m just like: Ugh. It’s nothing against the women, it’s just... Growing up, my parents watched a whole lot of medical shows. Oh yeah, I wonder where my fears come from. BUT, the idea of my significant other and I raising children sounds fun! IDK if it’s weird or not, but I want my SO to be pregnant BUT I don’t... Wanna witness childbirth. Is this weird? IDK. Childbirth is SCARY, and the possibility of death is HORRIBLE. If I don’t wanna be there when my SO gives birth, doesn’t it make me seem like a bad mother? Adoption sounds good but like, I want children who look like me and act like me (is this offensive???). So, yeah, I’m just ranting here but if y’all have advice or something, leave a comment, I want to hear your experience with pregnancy or tokophobia.
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Seems like this is something you'd talk about with your partner, as part of the conversations around partnership and having kids in general. I imagine the right person for you might be sad to not have you in the delivery room, but would understand.
ReplyI see, thanks for the comment! I suppose time will tell!
ReplyAs a fellow gay who has tokophobia, I understand what your're saying.
If you ask me, I don't think it's weird to not want to witness childbirth. As long as you let your SO know. That doesn't make you a bad mother. Lots of people are great parents, even if they weren't in the room when their child was born. It also goes they other way around. Not every parent who was present when their child was born, is a good parent.
Adoption sounds good too!
You don't have to decide right now. If you have a SO, I would advise you to talk to her about this too.
ReplyThanks, it feels good to know I’m not alone!
ReplyIf youre lesbian why fear getting preggo? Youre not going to be around any type of semen obviously?
ReplyI’m not afraid of becoming pregnant, I’m just grossed out by the idea.
ReplyCan you adopt a kid who looks like you and acts like you? I'm male and the idea of pregnancy grosses me out also, so it's not just you. It grosses me out so much that I wouldn't want to inflict it upon my partner (who luckily is even more horrified at the idea than me). When/if it's time for us to raise a kid, we're definitely going to adopt. I'm not sure how the selection process goes, but I'd definitely like to pick one who suits our personality. Idc about looks, race or gender but I'd like one who fits in personality-wise. To me that's even better than having genetic offspring because you'll know exactly what you're going to get (I am NOTHING like my parents). Anyway, just an option I wanted to float at ya.
ReplyIt’s possible, maybe in the future! And it’s awesome that you’ll adopt, thanks for the opinion!
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