What are you looking for?
My Unsent Letter to My Bestfriend (who is my crush as well)
1 year ago · · love triangle,
Wow... I don't even know how to start. I like you. No, I love you. I love you so much. More than you could imagine. This doesn't feel like a harmless crush. It's tugging at my heart strings. Every time I talk to you, I feel so happy and it feels as if all of my other problems fade away. You're all I think about. You motivate me to wake up in the morning. You get me through the day and you're the last thing I think about before I go to sleep at night. You light up every room you walk into. You shine brighter then the sun... You're beautiful inside and out. You are so kind and you always manage to get a smile on my face. I kept trying to tell myself not to like you. I was trying to stay back, but I couldn't. You drew me in. You're very good at that. A lot of people have fallen for your charms... Including HIM. Before I met you, I became friends with him and he treated me very poorly. He's a horrible person. He has these horrible sick thoughts about women and treats them like objects. You are worth so much more than that. And you deserve so much better. But of course, he had to come along and stomp on my parade. He knew you made me happy. I'm pretty sure he knew I liked you too. But he came along and ruined it. I feel as if he took you from me. I know that is a pretty selfish thing to say since you don't belong to me or anything... but I enjoyed having you to myself. When we would just talk and joke around like there was no worries in the world. Now I feel like he got in between us. Of course we're still close... but now I feel like you have more to worry about. I want to stay by your side and help you overcome your worries and problems, but now he's adding on to it. You know he's not good for you and I'm so glad that you do... But I am also afraid he will get to you as well, as he once got to me. He never gives up. He sure is one stubborn bastard. He hasn't given up even though you told him you weren't interested. He doesn't even respect you or your feelings. He only cares about what he wants. But you continue to keep him around. Because you're kind like that. I wish... just this once you would speak up and tell him to quit. Speak up and tell you to leave you alone. But I know you aren't like that, and he knows that too. So he'll keep trying. Knowing I like you, he'll continue to try to get with you and put me in the middle of it all. You see, I'm his bestfriend and I'm also yours. See what position that puts me in? It hurts. It hurts so much... Everyday when I see him try to make moves on you, it hurts. I have to just sit back and watch. I just have to cheer him on. It's complicated.. I wish I could just tell him to leave me alone and that I don't want to be friends anymore and to get out of my life, but it's just not that simple. So I guess I'll be here for a while. I'll be here on the sidelines, watching him make moves on you. I'll watch you be nothing but nice in return. I'll listen to him rant about his vulgar thoughts about you. I'll listen to him talk about how much he likes you. But most of all, I'll stick by your side through it all and help you overcome this somehow. When it's all over though, I want nothing more than to stay in your life. Even if it's just as the bestfriend role... I'd be happy to stay by your side. It hurts so much to see you with him, even though you're not dating him and you said you're not interested, I still have this nervous feeling... What if you do one day? I can't help but shake that feeling. I wish he would stop bothering you and I. I don't know which one of us has it worse... You having to deal with him constantly bothering you and not leaving you alone even though you turned his feelings down or me, who has to sit back and just cheer him on even though I have a crush on you too. I feel like this feeling is so much more than a little crush. I don't like you just cause you're pretty or just because I'm bored, as other people may have crushes for. I want to protect you and hold you close. I want you to not have to worry about every little thing. I want to take care of it for you. I want to fall asleep in each other's embrace, and feel warm and safe and happy... I love you so much. But, of course this letter will never be sent because I am too scared about the outcome. I know you would turn me down in the nicest way, but it would still hurt so much. So, I'll stay here and support you. As your bestfriend, I'll be here for you. No matter what. Unfortunately, I am in the middle of all this, so I will have to cheer him on too... But I won't let him hurt you. If he goes too far, I'll be here to protect you. I wish he would just give up. I mean, he knows I like you, so if he was my real best friend, he would've backed off. But he put his selfish desires first. As usual. He said he wanted to have a competition. To see who could win you over. I refused because you're worth so much more than that. Your feelings are what matter most to me. I care about how you feel, and I'm not going to put you in that position where I'm competing with someone else over you as if you are some object. I don't want to win you over like a trophy. I want to win over your heart, the right way. Not through competition, but out of pure love. It's okay though. I'll still love you. And I will wait until you're ready. I've been waiting for quite some time now, and I'll continue to... Some people may think I'm just being a coward, and maybe I am... But I don't want to put you in the position where you feel like talking about someone you like would upset me. Because of all things, I am your best friend first. And if you aren't ready for a relationship, that's no problem. I'll wait. I'd wait for years in hopes that one day, you'll love me back. I've liked you for about 6 months now... woah I just realized that's a half of year! Anyways, just know that I have no problem waiting another 6 months, or even 6 years for you. I would do anything for you. I'll be here on the side for a while it seems. But I hope it all pays off in the end. I love you...
~Sincerely, Your bestfriend