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I know everyone is struggling today, but I felt I needed a place to write my problems and came across this site. I was told writing your problems can help ease stress. We shall see. This year has been tough for my family and I. We are blessed to have great jobs and all, but this year has hit us financially really hard. I haven't been able to pay our house payment for almost all year due to bills, things breaking down in the house washer and dryer, car troubles, still have things to fix on the cars, but at least they get us to work. Luckily our bank let us have a few free months which is coming to an end right before Christmas and I have to figure out how to tack on those missed payments on my loan and pay them back somehow. Plus we have a car payment to make, and repairs needed on the house. Credit card payments as well. At least I have one card paid off and that was only because that bank gave me a good deal of stopping interest and taking an automatic payment for a year and half and closed the card afterwards. Pushed into a corner I will have to tell my kids the truth of Santa Claus was just Mom and Dad passing on the same joy that St. Nick did many years ago and that this year the tree will be quite empty, possibly empty. I tried doing a Gofundme once to see if I could get help, but it seems that is more for people who need surgeries, and it seems most people who get money have horrible pictures and stories far worse than mine so I gave up that avenue and deleted my campaign. I'm worried about Thanksgiving as I have to cook a turkey and other things and I don't know if the parts and repairs will be done before then. I luckily got a Turkey for cheap, but I may have to cook it stovetop or crockpot. Not to mention the stress from my VA claims, I applied for an increase in my rate and they increased some of my claims, but did not increase my overall percentage. I'm hoping to get help from DAV, and we shall see how that goes.
Among other things my depression and anxiety have hit an all time high, and I feel like I have been losing friends and family due to all this political nonsense. I have always been welcoming to my friends and family and giving and kind regardless of their political opinions and regardless if we disagree or not, but sadly they do not think the same. I feel to ashamed and helpless to really tell anyone what is really happening in our life and I know my wife feels the same way. Its just that I feel boxed in a gutter and everyone passes me by as hopeless trash.
I miss my friends who sadly live to far away and sadly wish we could make more friends close by, but anytime we meet someone new who likes the same things as us, they are often too busy or have other friends to hang out with. You can be surrounded by family and still feel like the only person in the room sometimes.
My mess of a self is even more horrible in that I have a super creative mind with great fantasy and horror stories filled in it, but I don't feel the motivation to write. I seem to do better with speaking out the stories than typing and tried recording and did great, but my Dragon program will not register my digital recordings unless I upgrade to the expensive version. Plus would do better with a laptop and not a desktop so I can take it with me. I tend to work better when I am out in the woods alone with my thoughts or on a beach. Thus bringing my spiral mind back to our money troubles as I cant afford the technologies or trips out as we have bigger problems in our pot. I don't understand how other people do it. How others can manage money so much better. Its sad when you pay bills, buy groceries, and then your bank account is negative before the next paycheck that just barely clears that negative amount, just to go negative before the next check.
What's funny is I gave up many of the things that cost us so much money in the past, smoking, partying, movies, etc many, many, many years ago. I actually didn't see a negative account often then. So where is all that extra money that my financial counselor promised would be there if I gave those things up?
If anyone is still reading this, or just skipped to the end thank you for your time. I give you a virtual hug from your first time anonymous writer.
Signed only- TB
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You are a great person who has a lot of responsibility on your shoulders, and you support your family too instead of how you could just leave them and save money better that way, like how many cruel people have done before. But you don't leave them and help them, try to pretend it is ok. You are a good person and I'm sure there will be a great reward waiting for you at the end.
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