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So, umm, here I am. Writing a timed journal entry, I suppose, with an intention to heal myself. I consider myself powerful. I can bounce back from all the situations that I have encountered till date and I am so proud of that. I wanted to write as thoughts flow into and out of my mind freely. Without a moment's judgement. SO, as much as i love myself I think there are certain things I can do better. Like, keeping calm. I am working very diligently on doing that and it is not always easy, let me warm you but its exhilarating when I do calm myself down. For the most part, I feel very lonely. Myabe that is not thr right word. I feel very comfortable in my aloneness. My silence empowers me. I love to talk to myself and I find that I am the most healing when I am by me, working on something or imply just being.
But still, i have dark thoughts. And lately a lot of suicidal houghts. I have always been suicidal. Sometimes, I feel it will be best to kill myself and end it all. For the craving of peace never eludes me. I feel, at times, that dying would be cathartic. I can free myself and maybe a lot of other people of the burden, you know? I can be free, at last.
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Please continue living. I'm sure you can do it! So far you've been doing great :) Don't lose hope. I'm rooting for you ❤
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