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I want to die but I can't. I want to die because my parents only seem to interact with me when they want something from me or they feel like yelling in my face. I want to die because my first sister I ever had thinks she is mature enough to live on her own. I want to die because School constantly stresses me out to the point of breaking down almost 3 times a week. My Parents ask me to do a million things around the house all while keeping up with my grades, helping take care of my sisters, and making time to do what I like. They get mad when I can't do everything at once. They get mad if my grades slip or I don't do the dishes one day or if I never relax. My Sister hate me with everything she has. She tells me that she will never respect me and that she doesn't give 2 craps about me. She gets mad when I fight with her and get physical and then thinks its ok but only if she is the one being violent first. I am constantly being yelled at for every little detail of my mistakes. My parents call me ungrateful, spoiled, jerk, stupid, idiot, mean, and many other things. They all constantly put me down. But I can't die because I love doing gymnastics. I can't die because my friends don't deserve to be put in pain for the actions of others. I can"t die because I want to have a bright future and I deserve better. Gymnastics and my friends seem to be the only things that make me happy anymore. I don't want to give all of that up because of the way my family makes me feel. I have 2 more years then I can go off to college. I don't know if it will get any better. My relationships with my parents and my sister seem to be in so many pieces that there is no way they could ever get put back together. I just want to be able to be happy for a while instead of short bursts covered by sadness and anger. I feel like I want to get away but i'm paralyzed. I need to feel better...
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I was like this when I lived at home until the day came when I left home. That day will come for you too so keep looking forward to it.
ReplyAbsolutely. Keep going until the day comes that you can leave. You will breathe a big sigh of relief when you realise you can control when and how often you see your family. You just need to keep going until then <3
ReplyYou definitely deserve happiness even if some things stress you out I know you will be happy soon because after reading your side I know you are strong very strong .
ReplyYou do deserve happiness. It sucks, I know, and it will for a while. Stick to what you have here, think about the reasons you should stay, the reasons you want to stay. Count down the years or months until you can move out, and you will finally be free. I know what parents like this can do to somone, and I hate that you have to go through that. People like this shouldn't have children. But I hope you can find some peace of mind soon.
ReplySadness is important, it lets us know what we care about. -Me
Replywe both deserve better but my day is coming im just waiting for i can turn 15 so i can get tf out i dont care at this point if i count as a run away so what yall never cared.
Reply15! lucky, i need to wait till im 18 :(
Reply