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Every day hurts.
It feels like it's never going to get better. My boyfriend and I took a break from each other because we were both in our addictions, and wanted to get clean and better so we could have the healthy relationship we deserved. We loved each other more than life itself. He was my soulmate. What the fuck is the world trying to tell me or teach me when he fucking dies? A slow painful death, and I wasn't there for him? I thought this was my chance. Something finally good happening. Finding my person, and he's taken away from me. After he died, I finally adopted a dog to help myself get sober.
I've been sober for two years. Maybe his death is what saved me, or I saved myself. I just wish there was another way that I could have learned. I wish he was still by my side doing life with me. I try to do everything that he can't because he was taken too early. He died on his birthday. I feel like I'm never going to get better. Every day hurts.
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You will grieve for a while and then you will return to normal and you will have lovely memories of this boy. Your life will continue and in time you will meet someone else. It is wonderful that you are now sober and can continue on being sober. You have my deepest sympathy.
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