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I think I'm in love with my best friend. We're roommates, and started out as dear and very close platonic friends. I never thought having feelings for another girl was in my cards, but in the past few weeks I've noticed that there may be more to my love for her than just what is platonic. It's always hard for me to distinguish between deep platonic and romantic love, and this relationship (at least for me) seems to walk that line, and is alterous. I'm not sure if it's because I've never been closer to someone, or that I've been pretty lonely during this quarentine, but the only explanation for why I hang onto her words and sneak glances at her and think about her far more than my other roommates is that I've got a crush.
I've come to accept that! which is great, and a big step for me.
But here's the rough part:
She's moving across the country this week to do an internship for a semseter.
Even if I do decide I want to act on this, I practically can't.
Not to mention the part where I don't know how she feels in return. (Not about other women-- she's bi--but about me in particular. To her I was always straight, not an option)
I don't feel like I can tell her, because I risk ruining such a close friendship if it's not mutual, and even if it is, I don't want to make her feel guilty for moving away for her career. I'm slowly hinting at the fact that I'm more than hetero, but I'm afraid to acknowledge it to her because she would easily guess that the person to make me aware of this was her, and again, I don't want to risk ruining a friendship.
I find myself contemplating it all even during the final exam weeks of the semester. I'm really not sure what to do. I will miss her dearly next semester no matter what happens.
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'fess up. be bold and brave, and tell her.
if you've got a crush, it's gonna impact the friendship anyway. if she's a good friend and you both care about each other, your friendship can weather an unrequited crush (and you'll have a semester apart to navigate the immediate awkwardness). and if she does harbor feelings for you, better to know now.... :)
good luck.
ReplyWould it be better to wait until after the semester, or tell her now? Do you think there's a chance she'll find someone else in the meantime? Weigh the choices and decide. Keep in mind it could change your friendship in some way. Consider into account if you think she might like you back (or if she doesn't, is the possibility of it open once you make it clear you're not actually straight?). If you're gonna tell her do it in a way that lets her know you're an available option and wait for maybe a few weeks or months for her to make up her mind. It's likely right now she doesn't have feelingss since she convinced herself you were straight in the first place.
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