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I’m a 12 year old girl and I’m questioning my sexuality. Right now I’m leaning towards being a lesbian. This isn’t a post as to whether or not it’s okay to be who I am, as I have a very supportive family, but rather, I’m trying to figure out if I actually am gay.
Online quizzes aren’t a reputable source— I’ve already tried that and got a myriad of results (well, that was just for fun). That’s why I’m calling on anyone that’s listening to help me figure this out. Are there any signs of being a lesbian?
Here’s what I’m basing it off of: I like pointing out attractive women in movies and real life. I imagine kissing them. Then I imagine kissing a guy and I find I can’t imagine doing that. It seems very gross. Don’t even get me started about sex with a guy. I’d rather think about doing it with a girl.
I started questioning my orientation when I quit hockey— I was being bullied by a group of boys there and I saw the dark side of them. Then I started having dreams about dating a woman named Yvette. It made me happy when I finally kissed her.
I don’t know if I’m questioning myself only because of my experience with boys or because this is who I truly am. It might have been easier to tell if it hadn’t been around that same time of quitting that I discovered that LGBTQ existed.
So is there any way to tell if I’m truly gay?
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Your still so young, I'm still debating my actual sexual orientation because after any bad experience I question myself. A Lot!
Your in early secondary school, your going to be experiencing a lot of new things for the first time, which might be confusing. But one word of advice i have to give trust your gut and trust it early. If your feeling more towards girls chances are, girls are your thing.
But don't worry about not knowing just yet, experience and experimentation is key!
ReplyI am suffering the same but I think it's normal
Boy's can get infatuated to girl's or boy's ,uncle's aunt's anyone
I also was feeling that I love a girl and I was thinking am I lesbian but I talked to my aunt
She said it is ok that you don't understand some feelings let it go
I know that am talking like what is generally said in movies but I told what I feel
Any way you never going to know my name
Your pal
ReplyYou said you're 12. It's such a young age. You're not even teenager. You're a child. Emotionally, physically and biological. Talking about sex and imagining it doing is so gross at this young age. This age is where you should be more inclined to build your mental abilities and teenage is when you think about your sexuality. No matter how open minded you are or your family is, but this age is not for those things. Life is so big and there would lots of experiences when you can get to know who you are but this age is too young to think about your sexuality. It's dangerous too. Dangerous cause if you mistake yourself for being a gay or lesbian or other sexuality then if in case your further life experiences actually come out to be different then it would be difficult for you to find the true identity. You just came to know LGBTQ existed and there's a lot of things you should know before coming to the conclusion. Even google doesn't allows to create an ID if you're 12. I would say don't feel so confused about yourself or question your sexuality based on your few incidents. There are many more to come and you'll get to meet many people in future too. This is really a serious matter and you should consider thinking about it when you're actually, legally, emotionally and physically mature. It'll make things easier to come out as lesbian or gay too.
ReplyI don't think it's "gross" to be thinking of sex at the age of 12. Sex is a part of life, whether you like it or not. I believe children should be educated in Sex Ed early on, and sex should be a normal subject to talk about.
ReplyI don't think it's gross, either. 12 is a very normal age to begin noticing and figuring out your sexuality. This commenter needs to come down from their judgmental high horse....
If you are questioning your sexuality, you are there right along with many other people your age. There are two pieces of advice I would give you. One, follow your heart. If you feel like you like a certain girl, see if it's something you could explore with her. If, at some point, you feel like you like a certain guy, don't rule it out simply because you've labeled yourself in the past as "not liking guys". Yes, some guys are jerks, like the guys who were bullying you, but not all guys are like that.
The second thing I would tell you is to stay safe while you are figuring this out. Trust your instincts and that little voice in your head if you get a bad feeling about someone or something. Also, when you do become sexually active, whether it's with a guy or a girl or both, make sure to practice safe sex (washing hands before touching each other's private areas, washing any shared sex toys you might use, using condoms and/or dental dams, etc....you can find tons of info about what these things are and where to get them online if you just google them).
The tone and style of your writing tells me that if you are, indeed, 12 years old, you are pretty mature for your age. Be patient with yourself and kind to yourself as you explore these feelings and figure yourself out.
ReplyThere's no need to rush buddy. You can still explore your sexuality. I'm not against lgbtq or something as I'm pansexual myself.
Like you're still young and there's more to it. You're going to encounter and experience a lot specially you're moving on to teens now. And add new scho environment where kids of your age explore. You can meet a lot of people, and there you can now see for yourself.
Goodluck to you buddy!
Replywell my girl sounds like youré now officially lesbian. iḿ still tryna figure out if iḿ bi or not but you should be proud of your sexuality, and don let anyone judge you for who you truly are
ReplySure, it sounds like you might be gay. You're at the age where you start developing crushes, and if your first crush is a woman named Yvette then that's probably an indication of things to come. Just keep everything flexible because things change a lot over the next few years. Go with whatever seems right at the time, and be prepared to change strategy if that doesn't work. I'm twice your age and still don't know what "label" I fit under (and I like it that way).
ReplyYou're only 12. You shouldn't be questioning it. boys bullying you doesn't mean youre gay by having that dream. It was probably just the love you want to feel from your sub consciousness. Ive had gay dreams and woke up sick to my stomach because im not gay myself. Dont dismiss boys just yet. It was just a dream.
ReplyIt's alright to question yourslf! don't feel pressured to put labels on yourself. you'll know when you find the right term if you even have a term that you want to use! Just take it slow and trust yourself.
ReplyI'm not lesbian but I'm pansexual and I will say that it does sound like you are attracted to women. I'm 14 so I'm around your age group so I know how confusing this stuff can be
ReplyAhhh, the sexuality struggle, now thats something Ive had before. It took me 2 full years of debating through sexualities before I found mine, so even if you don't do it soon its fine. Just be proud of yourself no matter what.
All the things you've said seem like you might be lesbian. Then again, you wont really know until you try something, but DO NOT TRY ANYTHING SEXUAL THINGS UNTIL YOURE OLDER. youre only 12, so yeah, dont do that. But anyway, your issue seems to end in being gay, so yeah
ReplyHey I'm Isabella, I'm 11 and identifiy as lesbian, there is no shame in knowing early! And yes all of the signs you mentioned, show that you are probably a lesbian. I have all the same signs you do and am a lesbian. I reilized that everything was so much better after I just admitted I was gay. So if you think you are, or know you are, admit it!!!!!! I promise you will feel so much better after.
ReplyYou might just be having disgust towards men and just prefer women in your fantasies. There's a chance you like touchy friendships not just sexual romance.
Reply