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Sometimes when I get in trouble from my parents I run down to my room and cry, and I'll lay on the floor because I feel as if I don't deserve this great family and my stuff and my life. Why should I be with this life when another kid could be in my place? Someone who is the helpful big sibling, not the wicked one who talks to them like a bully does. I'm lazy, I'm a procrastinator. What if my parents were hoping for someone different? So many people living in poverty, why couldn't me and them traded places? I feel as if I don't deserve anything. A million good things have happened, and half as many bad things, but so many little moments in my life haunt me when I lay in bed at night. So many things pile up, and I worry that because of my inability to be perfect, I sabotage my life after death, and my future in general. I just wish that I wasn't so stupid and so mean and didn't ignore my friends because "haha funny video on youtube is better" and I just wish I could disappear and come back a better person that wasn't so stupid.
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Welp, it's a new year. Perfect time to become a new you, one step at a time.
Good luck, and may great things continue to fill your life, because blessings are lovely and should be cherished.
Try practicing gratitude more often, and set one small resolution for yourself each day. Many tiny good habits formed will create a better version of yourself little by little. Don't forget to start every day smiling 😁.
Love you 😘
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