What are you looking for?
4 months ago · · Cancer,
I hate cancer.
This ugly, monsterous, hate-ridden disease has took the person I loved the most. You fought for a year and three months; and it took you. Why have you done this? Why did you have to leave? You were supposed to live for twenty more years. You didn't get to me your great-grandchildren. You were my role model, and you were my rock. I went to you for advice, the only person I could talk to without getting yelled at or judged. You accepted me for who I was and who I developed into. I know you'll be with me.
Seeing you in the casket was not you; tears rolled down my face when I touched your cold hands, that were once always warm and soft. You were tired. You finally had went home to rest. You still had your glasses. Your hair was just right. I know you would probably yell at me for crying, but the pain I have each day aches my heart. I know I can no longer pick up the phone and call you whether for a random question about cooking, or to just talk about my day. You were always there for me. But I wasn't there for you. I should've been. The doctors said there was nothing I, or my family could have done.
I wanted to give you one last hug. I wanted to feel your warmth, feel your heartbeat, one last time.
Fxck you, cancer.