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I kinda just wanna shut down. Not talk to anyone but my boyfriend and best friend. I can be myself around them. I can be so broken and damaged and they don't care. I don't have to put up a front and be so mentally present and happy all the time. With my boy, I can zone out and he gently brings me back to reality. My best friend is always ready with fun stories to share and we could go on all night just ranting back and forth about random things. I'm just sick of trying to hard around family. I feel bad for feeling like a burden when I talk too much about myself or I come off as rude when I don't mean to. Everyone thinks I'm a jerk but I'm just socially awkward and can't hold a conversation like a normal person could.
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It sounds like you have a good bf and bsf
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