I'm broken once again

I refused to fall into this deep dark pit. I refused to let myself hurt again. I was slowly getting there but every time I try to escape, you throw hurtful words that makes me fall back where I was. I want to be happy again. I want to find myself again. Why can't you just let me be? I don't want to be here anymore. It's too cold and lonely down here. Let me out. I want to cut the strings that control me, I want to be able to move freely again. I want to feel motivated and not feel manipulated. I want to move on my own, I want to feel emotions again that you won't let me have. I want to live again. Is that too much to ask? Please let me go, let me be happy.