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Anyone else that person where there the real joy and happy in the group but is mentally breaking piece by piece down deep inside. I am the person that helps friendships get back together after a fight, i am the one that is always there no matter what the person is going through. But i feel out of place, it always seems that everyone breaks down around me and i build them back up but when its me i have to rebuild myself. I honestly am breaking down on the inside I dont know why I am the way I am. I went through years of getting told I could never be what i imagined i could be and that i should give up because im feeding into false hope. I took the words i was told and i shove them deep deep down inside of me and I choose not to share or show my pain. I think to imagine so think of it from my shoes. Your standing in the center of a circle by yourself and one by one people start crumbling as you rotate and you run to build them back up, but when you do someone else falls, and its just that on going cycle. Some people leave and get replaced by others so you dont know if your wasting time or truly helping. I really don't know if i am the only one but its so hard to act my whole life i a act. I have put this face on that I am happy no sad or hurt in my life but there is a lot of it. Ok so go back to the circle, as ur building ppl up the more hate you take but remember you cant let it show and soon your down to 1 person that has stood by you, but you have so much pain its to hard for them to build u back up by themselves. But there I no one else there to help. I never have really expressed how i feel I decided maybe it would be good to write it out but that didn't help. So i thought what if someone is like me and they dont have answers to but they can at least relate to someone so they don't feel as lonely as I do right now.
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