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I know it sounds awful but I recently had a fight with my mother regarding her buying me a new phone for my birthday, I know it sounds spoilt but I swear there's a bit more to it than that.
My mum has a habit of compulsively spending money that we don't really have on things we don't need. Furniture changes every week ect. I told her at Christmas I didn't want a new phone as my current one works fine but it took many talks to tell her to not bother.
Now two months later she tells me she waited and i shouldn't be so ungrateful. I don't know if I'm being unfair or if this is just a way for her to win what is to her a long standing argument?
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It's valid for you to be mad about this. You clearly told her that you didn't want it, and she completely disregarded your opinion. My mom sometimes does things like that too which upsets me a lot because it seems like she doesn't value my opinion. It's very frustrating, even if she might mean well.
I don't know what your mom's motives for this are. Maybe she's being petty and trying to 'win' the argument, or maybe this is how she expresses love and she thinks that you will appreciate it even though you already told her you didn't want it, or maybe it's something else. Try to explain to her calmly that you really appreciate that she did this for you, but you truly don't need it and don't want to waste money on things you don't want or need. Tell her that you would like it if she actually listens to you when you tell her what you want and don't want, she should value your opinion, especially when it comes to topics involving you, like the phone. Hopefully she realizes that you're not being ungrateful, you're just upset about her wasting money on a "gift" that you didn't ask for and not listening to what you told her.
ReplyIf you want your mom to stop buying you things you don't want: Tell her you will let her know exactly when you want something new. Or if she demands to know how long before you want a replacement of the same thing just make up something longer than when you actually want it. Say you want a new phone in a year or two. You can say two years, and in the meantime if that changes you can just her her know and that way she'll still feel in control.
ReplyYeah and the comment above mentions some stuff I was gonna say but couldn't put into words. Like how maybe she could just be trying to help and she's hurt you don't like her present.
ReplyBe grateful that she gave you something.
ReplyI would just be happy and keep it as a spare, I have 2 phones, one I just use for junk, games, notes, the other I use for everything else.
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