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Guys what is real pain for you?
I am 16 years old, I had a lot of destructive events and I didn't give up yet. I lost my father, our economical situation is not good enough, I have been studying in boarding school for almost 8 years and I just have to live for my mother.
I have been in relationship for 8 months. This seems very short time part to love someone and have a dream to marry with him but I feel like our situation is different than others. We actually met on internet by coincidence. He lives in my country with his family but they will leave 1-2 months later and may not come back for 6 years. He is so stressful about it and tries to do his exams well because of his university. He doesn't want to be apart from me.
But nowadays I feel like I am losing my father again and this feeling roams in my vein every time, every day, every minute. I read a lot events which are similar to ours and most of them broke up. I didn't want to surrender and I just focused on good example. Like there were couple and they had to be apart for 7 years. At that time the technology was not developed enough, they just exchanged mails and at the end of 7 years, they met and they have a little princess right now.
I just focused on positive things because I am afraid of thinking about negative things become real.
Nowadays I am so stressful about us and I don't know how to behave to him. Mostly I suddenly get angry for any reason and he is distracted in the exams because of me. These exams are really important for us. If he goes to another country, I might not be able to go with him because my english is not enough and for me it is really to get acceptance from foreign universities. Let's say I get acceptance, and I don't have enough moneh to pay fees.
I try to do my best with my teachers but...
I just do 't want to lose him forever. I am sure he is like that too. I just sometimes lose control and get angry and make him sad. Because it gives so much pain that he will leave soon. He is my only bestfriend. He really does care about me and listen to me whatever I think. He is so kind. I don't think I will find someone like him.
And knowing that he will leave and don't come back at least 6 years later and I may not be able to follow him killes me everyday again and again. I am sorry, I don't have any ability to express my feelings.
I just want to tell you about me and want to hear something that may make me relieved from you.
Thank you for reading my concerns.
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