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I wish I knew why you don't like me
Why you feel the need to threaten me to open up to you
Why you like it when I blame myself for someone else's actions
Why you hate it when I cry and you making it worse
Why you change up your personality a lot
You keep pushing me away
How you threatened me to open up to you
That almost caused me to lose the last amount of trust I had for you...that was 20% but you brought it to a 15% and when you say "if you want me to be honest", it makes me question if you ever even were/are honest with me which also brought my trust for you to a heartbreaking 10%. I can't keep bottling up my emotions for you even if I feel the need to protect you but there's no way I can tell you them in person... you're probably going to hate me if I ever showed you or told you this...that is if you don't already... My emotional therapist to me, it seems that she thinks material things are love but that's not true. No matter what you give me, it's not going to up your trust or how I think you feel about me. You cause me to second guess myself and it drives me crazy. You give me almost everything I want but you're never there for me and you need to show love through actions but all your actions have been showing me is; 1. That because I'm your daughter, that you have the right to force me to show you vulnerability. 2. That you have the right to force me to tell you everything. 3. That I'm weak for crying, and I should get stronger. 4. And that you don't actually have my back.
My responses to that:
1. You don't have the right to force me into vulnerability. 2. You have no right to force me to tell you everything in my life and if you try to force me to do anything I don't want to do when it's not a good thing, you'll just keep pushing me away and weighing down your trust. 3. If you don't cry for a very long time, it might cause you to become very neutral for a while or be completely emotionless for awhile and why do you cry if you think it's so weak? 4. I try to talk to you about getting bullied but you just say 'ok' because I apparently exaggerate almost all the time....that's showing me that you don't have my back when I need you...you didn't even care to at least try to comfort me but that wasn't just you...Dad used to have my back...but now he's doing exactly what you're doing so, I'm not so sure he has it anymore... Justice may be annoying but at least he actually showed me that I could trust him 100%. I still trust Dad but both of you could try to actually be there or comfort me in times of need. I sincerely hope this relationship (not couple relationship) will turn towards the better.
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