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i don’t think they are joking.
whenever someone would insult me i would just say okay or thanks and ignore it
and when my friends would do it i would take it as a joke
but i don’t think their joking.
they don’t do it to anyone else and i’m starting to lose the positivity in my mind saying it’s just a joke or to ignore them.
i’ve always been so good at it too ever since i was little
but now i’m just struggling with confidence and self esteem
i mean i posted a picture of myself twice this week on instagram which is a lot for me, (i normally post once a month at most) and everyone in my friends group chat told me to stop posting myself.
they insult me all the time too
and i normally just take it as a joke because those are really my only friends and i don’t want to lose them
but i’m getting tired of it
tired of pretending it doesn’t bother me or that they are joking
i guess i just need to face that reality
maybe it would help me
maybe it would make me quieter and not so annoying
maybe my excitement for certain things would calm down so they wouldn’t have to listen to me anymore
maybe i would stop posting so they don’t see my face
maybe i’ll just stop.
but i want to stay positive with those types of things
i don’t want to tell anyone i’m hurting
and i probably should tell someone.
but right now with the friends i have i just don’t really have the place to.
and i have one close friend who never insults me and always boost me up
but i just don’t open up to people.
so for now i’ll stick to this website.
but yeah,
this was all over the place and honestly just a messy rant
normally my post on here i try to put in a poem type form and feel more like a story
but this works too.
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u should tell them how u feel, and be serious about it. if ur uncomfortable with opening up, just tell them to stop. try to introduce urself to more people if u want different friends, and maybe when u get other friends who are actually nice, u can try dropping ur fake friends. also, i'm glad u have somebody to boost u up! keep that friend, and maybe tell them how u feel if ur ever comfortable. i know it may be hard, but from their perspective it may not be as weird. if they're a close friend, they'll most likely help u.
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