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How do you love? I was raised that family is love, one of my father's favorite sayings was blood is thicker than water when me and my sisters would fight,we should be looking out for each other. He also said that no could ever love me cause I was fat.
I am 430 lbs. I want to change my life, be healthy. But I cant cause part of me wants to die. My childhood made me believe family and love were intertwined. Family comes first. Then it destroyed me.
My father met my mother at work, a shellfish processing plant that my mom's parents owned. He said the first time it was love at first sight. It hit him so hard he fell down the step he was going down. My mom is a paranoid schizophrenic. I have a twin and a younger sister.
I have never talked about the things that happened. Not everything. Maybe if I tell it here things can change. Maybe I can learn to love my self.
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Never ever listen to somebody who puts you down. If you try you can change but the weight doesn't define you. Try to love yourself. I'm sure you're a beautiful person.
ReplyMy uncle (now deceased) was a paranoid schizophrenic. He had a very high IQ and could do things without being shown. He built a house for his parents and did the electric wiring and plumbing himself without being shown how and it all passed inspection. He flew a small plane without being shown how as well. He spent a lot of his life in a psychiatric hospital.
What was it like being brought up by your mother.
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