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i feel like im Bingbong, the purplish pink elephant from Disney Inside Out. the more i think about it now, the more i can see the relation. i once had a very very good friend, i like her because she is pretty, a goofball, smart, has likeable personality and all. i used to call her 'big sis' in my native language although we're at the same age and i don't think that's an issue at all. i liked her a lot. but that was 5 years ago.
after i got accepted into a boarding school, and she's still staying at the same town, we got separated for a really really long time. i can only go back once a month but during those junior high years, i struggled a lot to barely survive there. we occasionally talk, especially to wish each others on festive season, but it was only me who started the conversation. all the time. i sometimes thought that maybe we were growing apart but i shrugged it off, because i still take her as my best friend. but it gets worse over time.
from talking lesser and lesser, i could say we're strangers now. strangers who used to know each other. i don't want to accept that honestly. i loved her a lot as my best friend. recently, it was her birthday. i posted her old photo during our time back then. i wrote a lot and addressed her as my big sis again.
but her replies somehow kinda slapped me in the face. she has forgotten how i used to call her by that. she doesn't remember much from the past. i cried a lot upon knowing that to my brother. i asked him whether i should or not letting go of the people from my past, that i hold on dearly, that i wish they're waiting for the day to meet up again just like i do. all he said was, people come and go, even if i hold onto them but they cut the tie, it is hopeless. after all the great days we had, im going to be forgotten, just like Bingbong.
thank you for reading until this far, i just had to let it out of my chest. it hurts me everytime i think about her and my old mates, but i guess, other people just move on as time passes, but im always the one who's stucked in the past, holding onto the old memories, wishing everything would stay the same. cherish everyone around you right now, before their appearance become just another chapter in your life. have a good day online pals. stay safe and love yourself and those around you.
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ReplyGirl i've been in the same situation many times. I used to have an old best friend exactly like you and the same thing happened. You need to tell the truth and if she doesn't still take you as her best friend then maybe it's time to move on, as hard as it may be. It's hard for you but it's also hard for her, only seeing your best friend once a month can hit hard for someone. Imagine the hard days for her, thinking about how you both used to share the best memories and have fun times together but now she has to get on with her life again only with the memories. Please tell her how you feel and if she doesn't take it the right way as to wanting to make the friendship strong again then that's not at all your fault. Please remember that there are a lot of others around you, and that you are valid x
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