Living through pain

Theres this burn inside me,

I dont know why it emerges..

I see you, being happy with others,

All I feel is my heart's urges.

I see you smiling,

I realise you dont need me,

I see that you are happier,

I understand the reality completely.

Its been so long, since I wrote for you,

Since I accepted the untold reasons,

Been so long since I felt this heaviness,

And today...here I am....after so many seasons.

What seasons you must be asking,

Well, Seasons of Awe, Seasons of despair,

Seasons when I tried but couldnt cry,

And seasons, I needed to repair.

In the end, it all is about you,

Or shall I say its about us.

How I am still into you,

How I made my life hell, without any fuss.

Long story short, I still am yours,

But I know you wouldn't ever be mine.

I know things have changed,

And you have left me behind.

But thats the bittersweet virtue I believe,

You get to love anyone, even if its in vain.

You get to live a bit while constantly dying,

Even if its about living through pain.

Till the time my wishes come true,

Till the time I hold you again,

Till the time I guess I sleep or die,

Darling I ll keep feeling your name.