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2 months ago · · Closure,
Dear Voltio, it's been 10 months since you passed away... I miss you terribly. I miss waking up to your barking at my door and seeing you get excited when I arrived home from school. At times when tears would cover my face, your black fur would catch them and your eyes would comfort me. You were the first dog I've ever had. When you had recently passed away, I felt responsible for your death. I would question myself, "Why wasn't I a better owner?" and rebuke myself saying "I should have taken you on more walkers and appreciate your existence so much more." I never thought you would leave my life at the age of 6. I thought I still had more years with you. I wanted to grow old with you. I knew that losing you would be painful but I didn't expect to be losing you so soon... my anxiety has gotten worse without you on my side. Life is pressuring me and I'm scared of the future. Getting up from the bed and eating felt so meanless and the dream world was becoming my new reality. What was the point of being awake and confronting the pain of you being gone? Mom and dad miss you every day. I miss you every hour but tears are fading, but that doesn't mean the pain isn't as strong as the first time. A moment that lives constantly in my mind is the moment when I asked God to take you into his hands if that meant that you wouldn't be suffering anymore. I couldn't stand watching you in pain because of your seizures. When he did take you that night, I was a mess. Pain overwhelmed me to the point that I went numb. I write this letter to you because I want you to know that I love you and I miss you so much. I hope you can forgive me for being not being the best owner and please watch over mom and dad. I love you Voltio. Thank you for being the best angel that entered my life and made special moments to remember forever.