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My mom, her mom (my grandma), and her sister (my aunt) thought I am a lesbian because of my hair and clothing style.
3 years ago · 1 · Need Advice, +5
550
March 02, 2021. It's 2pm and I'm gonna eat my food for lunch. My grandma is talking to my aunt through video call and my grandma noticed my hair. (If you don't have a time, skip this.) I'm gonna describe my hair, my hair is black, I cut my own hair and I think it is shag mullet (i don't really know but it's kinda like that), and it is shoulder length. My grandma said "What are you doing to your hair?" and my mom said "Ye, right. Idk to her." We are at the dining table and I'm just smiling(fake) and fake laughing to them because If I say anything to them, I'm sure they will scold me if ykyk. My auntie said, "are you a tomboy (lesbian)?" and I said "no". Btw, here in our place, they use tomboy as lesbian, Idk why. I mentioned to my cousin before that I wanna cut my hair (koreanboy hairtype) and she said that to my mom! My mom said to them while I'm eating that I like those oversized clothes and I wanna cut my hair like boy's hair. I'm just smiling the whole time and I forgot to say, my auntie just repeated her question to me for like 5 times, "Are you a lesbian?", Lol. Idk why some ppl describe you as a lesbian if you cut your hair like those boy's cut and dress like a boy lmao, I don't get it. But, if I dress like a girl and it shows my cle*v*ge they be like "What the h*ck! What is that? Change your clothes." I really don't get it, pls help so I can understand it. I'm glad bcs I can control my anger and my mouth because If I can't, uh! I will gonna say something bad to them. Thanks if you read this.
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Hey, you've got some strength to not snap at them. I've been with some family members that can drive me up the wall sometimes, and I know how you feel.
When it comes to your sexual orientation, it's no one's business but your own, and your clothes are not an indicator on whom you would like to fuck, date or like. If you want short hair, that's just something you like, it might be an expression or a simple commodity (I cut my hair pixie to save on hair products and because I wanted to know how it felt to just have short hair. Not for me, but now I know.)
My mom used to critique my appearance and choices all the time. Why I bleached my hair, why I coloured it, why I dyed it etc. Why I didn't like dresses, why I like hoodies etc.
I got the guts to just tell her that this was how I felt comfortable and like me. It's a reflection of my personality, and a way to keep me comfortable in cosy clothing.
So, TL;DR, clothes are clothes, hair is just hair, nothing will reveal any secret sapphic tendencies. Tomboys like comfort as much as girls with cleavage. You'll never make anyone happy if you dress for anyone else, because everyone has a different opinion about style. You just dress and style yourself as you feel, and say "because I want to" and it should be enough.
Oh, and if you happen to be LGBTQ+ in any way, all the more support from a stranger on the internet. And again, it's literally no one's business but your own.
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