My Timed Entry

One day we will look back at what we've become. We will reflect on what could've been. I hate that we're not together. I hate that every waking minute is spent thinking about you. I hate that I start and finish my day thinking about you. I can't get over you. I can't get over this. I can't understand how you could make me feel good enough then make me worthless. I feel like you'll never truly understand what you've done to me. But that's okay because I'm meant to move on right? I'm meant to go about life and pretend we never had something so special. If I see you on the street, I'm just meant to walk by. I'm just meant to pretend that I don't still have these feelings. I'm just meant to move on. But I can't. I can't just pick up the pieces and walk away from something you said would last. You said you'd never make me feel alone, yet you did. You've made me not be able to trust anyone and I don't know if I can handle another heartbreak.

You said that I will find someone else in no time. But no one like you. As much as I know I deserve something better, it's not what I want. I want to go back to the way things were when we first met. Messaging every day, messaging about life, messaging about our troubles. Now all I can message you is "goodbye" or "I'm sorry we ended like this." I don't know if I can physically handle this anymore. I don't know if I can become something to someone.

You always told me that I have to be happy in order to make someone else happy. You're right. So were you really happy? Or were you hurting just like me.