ughh

i just wanna die i have horrible family issues and my mom has diabetes and shes abusive and mad all the time and constantly stressing me out and i never feel productive and my house is nasty and a big mess i know i sound greedy but i wish i had a mansion and a bunch of money and parents who supported me trying to be productive and i have been forced into a religion and im not allowed to wear makeup or cut my hair or do my nails i have wear skirts i cant color my hair i cant even trim my hair im not allowed to weaar pants ever except in my house or around the family and my parents have been poor for my whole life at this point i hate my mom. my sister and my friend and my family is the only thing keeping me alive and my mom dropped me as a baby im so ugly and my teeth are extremely messed up i really need braces and online school is causing way too much stress and im in drama at school and i recently lost a bunch of friends and i basically might get jumped when i go back to school im so sad i just wanna die i feel like screaming and just running away until i dont have to deal with reality and live a happy life without missing anyone and now my family is planning to move to texas when my grandparents die which makes me really mad for some reason and i have to deal with not having my brother here i never even got to see him i feel like im a mistake and i just think my parents would rather have my brother and my sister used to hide under tables when my mom would abuse my dad and when they were fighting my mom was holding me and my dad closed the door while they were fighting and my mom kept on pushing the door and it messed up the door frame and she dropped me and she is so stupid and annoying whenever im near her i almost start crying because of everything shes done in front of her kids and on my birthday she started trying to punch my dad and i wish i had a different life and different mom ugh i hate everything i only like my pets and my sister and my best friend who has been there for me all the time. please someone tell me how to cope with this annoying ass life