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You were so perfect. The way you made me feel, how I was when I was with you, I had never felt that before, and I never have since. Everything with you was so perfect and amazing. We were basically the same person, we had identical passions and interests. I felt so comfortable to share my less than masculine hobbies with you. We did so much together, it was so perfect. You were my everything, we were soulmates, I gave my whole self to you and our relationship.
But what happened? You just.... stopped loving me....?? From the very start, the moment we confessed our love to each other, that was my biggest fear... that you’d stop loving me and leave me behind. I was too scared to see you because I thought I’d mess it up. But eventually I realised that you loved me as much as I loved you. We promised each other that we would never stop loving each other. We promised to always be there for each other, no matter what, to never give up, no matter how broken we may become.
How stupid I was to believe it.
Now that I’ve lost you, I am nothing. I gave up everything else to be with you, my friends, my family. I am so alone. I have nothing without you. I have no motivation to do anything. Because what’s the point if I can’t share my photos or my artworks with you? What’s the point of anything if you’re not here to tell me how much you like it. I am so alone, so lost, without you.
How will I ever find anyone else that compares to you? How will I ever find anyone else who appreciates me as much as you did, who loves me as much as you did? How will I ever find someone who is as similar to me as you are? How will I ever find someone who makes me feel like you did? Nobody will ever come close to you. Nobody will ever make me as happy as you did. Nobody will be enough for me. I have tasted the earth’s sweetest fruit, and now no other fruit will ever taste the same as it did before. I will always compare them to the best I have ever had. Even if before, I would’ve loved a certain fruit, I won’t now, because it will be nothing compared to you.
I will never be happy again. I was never happy until I was with you, you taught me how to feel emotions and how to be happy. You taught me how to be human. I will never feel the same.
And it hurts to see you each day, without so much as a smile or a nod or anything. You can’t even meet my eye. It hurts so much to see you getting on with life, as if nothing ever happened. Did I mean that little to you?
I was right after all, my biggest fear became reality. I lost you, and everything I sacrificed for you was all for nothing, it’s gone too.
How can you so easily change from being so madly in love with me to not being interested at all in such a short time. We were together for so long, did you love me all that time? Or did you loose interest earlier, and just pretended to love me. When you promised me every day that you’d never leave me, when you told me how much you loved me every morning & every night, were you lying?
I’m so lost. I can’t keep doing this. I don’t know what to do.
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this is beautiful, this doesnt mean anything but for what it's worth i love you.
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