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I keep having these really intense visual intrusive thoughts about killing and hurting people (they feel so real) and I have urges to do it but I don't because I know its bad and I had one about this girl I like and It makes me sad becasue I'd never want to do anything bad to her but the thoughts still won't go away and a few days ago she was talking to me and I had one about raping her and in it she was crying and I hate it and I just want them to stop so I can have normal conversations and stop thinking about those things becasue it's exhausting and I feel like a bad person
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Sounds like your monkey mind is going a but crazy. I'm imagining things have been rather boring for you recently? Not a whole lot going on?
It's normal to have dark thoughts, we all do at one point or another. Whether it be about sexual gratification or that crappy boss or the whining toddler. Dark things can enter your mind.
The important thing here is to understand and realize that these are just thoughts and they will pass. You don't have to act on them, you don't have to give in to them.
Some meditation might help you with this. Just remember to simply watch your thoughts and emotions, dont try to control them. Even if they get really dark. Just let them be and be ok with them. Don't draw judgement about the thoughts, don't criticize the thoughts, just watch them in your mind and study them.
ReplyGood advice!
ReplyMaybe you just need someone to talk your bad thoughts out with? How old are you?
Replywould you call urself a sadist? cuz it kinda sounds like a power thing tbh, like I get thoughts of torturing people too (will never act on it!!) but mines cuz I see humans as vile and disgusting besides children, children I want to protect its more so adults that I despise of.
ReplyThese types of thoughts might be related to an OCD diagnosis. I would recommend getting mental health services just to rule it out. If you don't want to so that i would advise you sit with that uncomfortable feeling you get when you have those thoughts and then push the thoughts away. Remember thoughts are just thoughts, your actions are what matters. The more you sit your uncomfortable feeling, the more you will get use to it and these intrusive type thoughts will decrease. Don't feel ashamed for having these thoughts. Focus on your actions because that's what matters the most. You can do this.
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