will i ever be free?

i am a under 15yrs of age and i live with psycopathic parent. i remember the first memory of my childhood was i was looking out of window at a family gathering.my father who is very bad called me to bring him the drink from refrigerator .i could not walk fast enough as i was a child he slapped me and put me in the dark room in corner room of the whole house. when my mom said to take me out he said that she knows that she is hungry and she crys but she cannot walk fast enough to bring me the drink.everyone was at a family gathering but no one helped me out of that room.i cried screamed and knocked the door .i passsed away in the room.. after some time my grandma secrectly came and took me out of there.i remember my childhood was all about getting beaten up and thrown in dark rooms. i had another sister after a year. she was also beaten up and thrown in room with me .at that time i was not that alone because she was with me. my mom and my sister were not allowed to go out of house or study in school. when some of the people from my moms side found that out we were held captive they helped us out. we moved to another place. we were not strong enough.even before marriage my father had an affair with two women who were really very uglier than my mom..growing up my mom was depressed and even told me everyday that i was a unwanted child and i made her life difficult . i was seven yrs old when i first thought of suicide .i still have some flashbacks of dark room. i had no toys no playgrounds. my childhood was destroyed by psycopathic father .now even in my early teenage i have alot of trouble surviving. my father has a social image of a very religious doctor but no one knows how he really is. i do not know if i ever would be free . i wanna be normal. even if i have no money no nothing i wanna be normal. whenever i ever meet my aunts they always see me and my sister and say poor kids and tell me how unfortunate was our child hood. i wish i has birthdays or i wish i had parents who hugged me and i wanted toys . i do not know but i believe killing myself is not a good option . i hope i would be free and my sister too. i am only writing this because this is anonymous. there is alot i could write but it is all about my bad childhood. i wish i had happy memories