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Hoo, okay, so, is anyone familiar with the game Roblox? If ever there's someone reading this who doesn't know that game, well, it's a game (obviously-) which contains more games- You could join the games people from around the world have made or you could make a game yourself. So, in Roblox, there's this money they call Robux and you can earn it by buying it with real money. Me and my friends, except for "A", is broke and doesn't have any Robux at all.
Anyways, there are games in Roblox that require Robux, and one of them is Bloxburg (it costed 25). "A" has that game, and she promised to give each of us 25 rs *short for robux* so that we can buy bloxburg with it. I had been cutting contacts with them because of personal reasons, but anyways. When I logged into Roblox before, I saw "M", "Y", and "A" playing bloxburg which means that "A" has given them robux already. I haven't received any, and I honestly felt offended, and when "M" told "A" to give me some rs, I refused and acted as if it was all fine. But I wasn't. I definitely am not fine with it.
But as time passed by, I moved on. And everything is fine. But, I realized that something was off. I decided to shrug it off. But little did I know, it was just the calm before the storm.
So, I cut connections with them on Messenger but I still played on Roblox. I was in a hangout when I saw "F" (a best friend of mine I didn't mention earlier) join me. She told me that she's not part of our group anymore and that she left our groupchat already. I asked why and she explained it to me privately since it would be embarrassing if other people saw what we're talking about. "F" said that she was playing a game called Arsenal while she was in a Gmeet with "M" and "Y". I'm not entirely sure if "A" was in it but eh. Anyways, "M" presented her screen which showed "F" playing in Arsenal, and "M" and "Y" kept on laughing whenever "F" died in the game. Sure, many of you would think it's normal, but "F" was taking things her way. She told me that she felt pressured as Arsenal was her favorite game in Roblox, and her own friends have humiliated her. All "F" wants is to be like "A". To be someone her friends admire. To be someone that doesn't feel pressured and someone whose friends don't laugh at her whenever she loses in a game.
But "Y" messaged me in Google Hangouts a few hours ago and told me what she felt. She told me how she thinks of "F". She told me that a stupid game has a bigger place in "F"'s heart rather than friends. Like, how could she end her friendship just because of a game?
I messaged "F" too, but for some reason, she didn't want to talk to me. We were okay just a couple of days ago. Like, she even told me that I'm like her sister and how she can't possibly kick me away. Is she mad at me because I told "Y" and "M" about it? "M" is in a serious mental state right now, and "Y" told me that she's been crying every night. I honestly don't know what to do right now. I was in the middle of chaos, and "Y" wants to solve it all. She wants us to be friends like normal. I tried talking her into letting "F" go, but she just wouldn't stop thinking about the fact that "F" left us because of a game. And "M" didn't feel like herself at all. I don't think our friendship is going to be fixed. We all talked about how we're going to meet up with each other once we're grown up. We even made a joking deal of us dying together! I don't know where to vent anymore. My mom told me that since classes are about to end in one week, I should just focus on my studies first and just deal with my friends in vacation. But how can I do that when our problem is just getting bigger and bigger? I'm not one to avoid problems, and I'm not sure if I should do that right now. I feel scared. What if we grow up forgetting about each other? What'll happen to "F"? Please, I need someone to talk to.
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By the time young people have grown up they have gone their separate ways anyway and by then all of this will be forgotten. If you can't get on playing a game what can you do? Try to be with these friends away from games and see what happens then. I know this is very serious to you now but adults aren't still friends with people they knew as kids and one day all of this will be water under a bridge.
ReplyFristly, your friends need to engage in self awareness, (you too you need this) pondering if you're a good friend to others and being mindful of your actions is a great step to being a good friend. By being mindful of even what your about to say ( insult ) will create a more stable and healthy realtionship to your friend AND to yourself . Looking for your strengths and weakness and RECOGNISING the ones that you need to focus on more, like what 'A' did she needs to hold on to her promises and putting herself into ones shoes and recognising that this is insensitive, hurtful and toxic she's discarding your feelings altogether you BELIEVED that she will keep the promise.
Secondly, Being a great listener. A good friend listens because they actually care about you they don't mind listening to for hours because they care about your well being and ENJOY being around their friend.
Futhermore, good friends are trust-worthy and accept for who you are. They share their secrets while protecting yours, they do that because they trust their friend and they WILL do the same for too. If you are physically, mentally, emotionally unwell they won't back away, they WILL do whatever they need to do to make you feel better. They make SURE you are okay and are their for you. A good and genuine friend are easy-going and you DON'T need to hide your true self from your friend because they accept you, for who you are.
Good friends are mature and responsible. They guide to the RIGHT path and LISTEN earnestly to you and understand where your coming from the converstations you have with them are often very deep.
To find out whether someone is a good friend, ask yourself, do they othen respond when they talk to you about their problems and give you advice?
Are they patient and empathetic or are they bored or indifferent?
Also, good friends are compassionate with you and others. They are understanding, for example when you are stressed or struggling to cope with your mental health. They become supportive and follow your pace on getting better. (these type of friend is rare to find because usually, everyone else rushes you to recover as soon as possible, which won't work because it's tiring and too fast )
when sharing your success and happiness, they congratulate and celebrate with you
When you are grieving about a loss. They'll be there for you.
Good friends do not only defened you (gossip) but also encourage others of their good qualities.
I think I covered all, Oh! Btw, most of these are from a phsychological expert on youtube and no one is really toxic, what matters is we learn and we become a better version of ourselves. 🥰
Be mindful of yourself and others that's what we need.
You should show these to your friends they need to learn (you should practice these it will be healthy for you)
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