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1 month ago · · Self Harm, · Explicit
So, i might not write much im just writing how my past few days have been going. I'm the person who wrote about my mom threatening to throw me out if any of you guys have read that one. So...Lemme just do an introduction real quick... Hey, I'm Liam. I am nonbinary, and I am having a really hard time. Last night my mom threatened to throw me out of the house if I say I hated her again.
in the heat of everything that went on once I was alone I slit my wrists for the first time. it wasn't too deep, but it felt weirdly soothing...like my stress was coming out through my blood and pain. It helped me sleep after I did that and put on a long sleeved shirt. I know for a fact my mom isn't going to see this so I'm not worried. Im scared if things progress I may end up going bat-shit crazy like my mom says I am.
She is the one driving me to the point of insanity. And she wonders why I have been loathing her with every fiber of my being? I'm so sick of all her bullshit and she never leaves me alone. this is going to be a lot, I know now that I'm writing. I'm just going to rant so bare with me.
My mom will come in the bathroom when I'm taking a shower and look at me and try to scare me by ripping the shower curtain open and saying "WHAT'DYA DOIN" when she knows I'm just taking a shower. it makes me extremely uncomfortable and she has no regaurds to personal space, but oh when it comes to even coming close to her she flips the fuck out. this one time I was sitting in my room, chilling in my bra on zoom with some of my friends, as one does to be comfortable, you know? my mom walks in on me and tells me to do chores and as I'm walking out she goes up to my dad and says "your daughter has bigger boobs than me" and it made all of us uncomfortable.
She doesn't see me going up to her and then my dad and saying "I have bigger boobs than mom" does she? NO! because no one wants to know this! I don't understand what her deal is or what's wrong with her. She's disgusting and I don't understand what my dad sees in her. I am so sick and tired of her bullshit.
I went to my school counselor and they couldn't do anything. I want to see about getting my mom removed from our household . She is always so demanding. But both my parents have their advantages and disadvantages. It can tent to be difficult and annoying.
On top of everything, I am an age regressor. I had this pacifier because it is a comfort item. My mom found it one night and grabbed it and asked me why i had it. She told me that if she found something like that in my room ever again, she was going to beat me and then ground me for and entire year. Same goes for if i cut my hair 'boy short'.
HAIR DOESN'T HAVE GENDER ITS JUST HAIR!!!
Either way...Thats it for this rant, because my hands are starting to hurt form all the typing....