What are you looking for?
A bit of death would be nice
1 month ago · · Depression,
I would welcome death but I won’t run to it.
I’m not suicidal, I’m tired.
Please don’t be scared when I say I want to die. I know I can’t stop fighting. I know. But I’m so so tired. Death would be easy. Yes, I know, selfish. “You don’t get rid of the pain you just pass it on to someone else.” Yah. I know. But I’m so f ing tired of carrying the pain. I’ve been doing this since I was a child. Ever since my dad told me I was worth less because I had a vagina. Ever since my oldest brother started raping me. Any my other brothers told me they wished I would just kill myself already. Since they told me that I didn’t deserve love. And no one would ever love me. Because I’m so ugly. Ever since my dad nearly forced me to do hate crimes against the LGBTQ’s because of how disgusting they were. “They deserve hell. They are sickening and they deserve pain” meanwhile I’m looking at girls and I know you’ll never love me. Ever since I was a ducking five year old I’ve hated myself. I tried to kill myself for the first time when I was twelve. And I’d been thinking about that for years. And the next morning when I woke up. I had to live with that failure as well. I have been carrying this for so many years. And I am done. I can not do this anymore. I’m to tired.