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Sometimes I feel I need to see a therapist, but then, I know what's the problem. I have a sister who is short-tempered, and OC to the point that she exhausts herself and then imposes that on you. Half of the time it feels like she is exploding over little things, like she spends too much time on the negative to point fault, and then she will say hurtful things, things along the lines of you're stupid, or why don't you leave the house, etc. and basically guilt trip you. More often than not, I make the conscious effort to hold back, and really shut my mouth and not say anything mean to her. It's a real conscious effort because I don't want to hurt her, but I am extremely disappointed that she says those things so loosely to me, that she doesn't care how it would make me feel. Because I think you don't say those things and be mean to people you love or care about. I don't think of leaving this negative atmosphere because she is sick though stable. But then there are times that my sense of well-being feels so pushed down by that negativity. Basically the way she speaks to me, boy ... she would never speak like that to other people, she sounds even kinder to strangers, and then speak unkindly to me. It's a horrible feeling because if this were any other person, or a friend, or an office colleague, etc I would not tolerate such rude behavior, and it just hurts that the meanest behavior I have ever seen and felt towards me in my whole life, was coming from my own sister. It's crazy how the smallest thing would set her off, a lot of it is stemming from her being OC and wanting every single thing in place and done in the way she wants it done. Imagine that. She loves giving orders like you're a servant, I mean, really, I think she would be happier with a personal assistant or anyone who follows her orders without raising a ruckus. She complains she does so much in the house, but no one is telling her to exhaust herself cleaning things at every turn when it isn't even necessary to that degree. And she gets so mad when my work sometimes stretches into the night as if any of that is under my control. When you have a job, it really does oversteps sometimes with your personal time, unavoidable. But imagine, her screaming in anger at me, while I'm listening to a training session on mute on Zoom. And her getting mad because I can't do this or that ... well of course, I couldn't leave the Zoom because I might miss something. I mean, just a little more understanding please. Work is hard, and I'm the only one who works, so I work hard. It's just really frustrating how she frames it to be a tale of laziness on my part at every turn when I work so hard because I have a job.
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