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Heyyy!! So hear me out and the situation, I can definitely pay for my meal or go half and half, I have my own money too. No problem. BUT, I have been talking to this guy who I am trying to give a chance to, because heās a really nice guy and got me a card and a flower for our first date. He picked me up, and things and then first we got a boba, he let me order my drink first and I was gonna order his too and he said āOH no, you go firstā so then the bell rang and I was like ok fine I paid my drink, he paid his. So now that I paid I assumed the food was going to be the same thing with food, which yes I PaId my food. but that kind of threw me off a bit. I have always been accustomed to whoever invites pays! No matter man, or woman. But in this case since he called it a date and he invited me i assumed. Now please donāt come at me, I donāt expect expensive things and of course as we have more dates I would offer to pay. But I was just so used to the first date being paid by whoever is taking you out on that first date. Keep in mind I donāt want to just disqualify him overall because I know he is looking for a job. Right now he just tutors and he resells things online, so he might have a small profit right now. Which I understand, I donāt expect him to take me out on a super expensive date either when I know his situation. I donāt have feelings for this guy either, I couldnāt even kiss this guy. Or hug him when he asked me to hug him. I donāt feel attracted as much either. But the way I saw it when we were first talking was āWell heās a nice guy so Iāll give him a chanceā can you guys give me a second opinion please. Should I just leave him, since I feel no connection ?
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I think people should always pay for themselves. And if you're broke then come up with another date idea. If you decide to get married then you can share money or whatever.
Replywhy u flaging ever ones post?
ReplyIf they're any kind of gentleman they'll offer to pay. Otherwise well just discuss it and be open about it before hand so there is no hard feelings or awkwardness
ReplyYea that was awkwardš¬
ReplyIf you feel no connection I really see no point in seeing each other unless you feel the need. That was actually rude or awkward of the guy. You're right the invite should pay for both.
ReplyVERy awkward! Because I was like ohā we just hanging out thenā it aināt no date šš¤
ReplyI mean i never really been on a "date" but me and my bf go out to lunch with my whole group of friends and even then he pays for me and my whole group of friends when we got our own money and rn my boyfriend works a jack in the box 2 day a week and on his free time he dose door dash so he dosent even get that much money but he still pays and i mean like in ur situation if you dont like him just cut things off cuz mostly if you dont cut things of rn then all ur life ur going to be paying for ur own stuff and what if u guys get merrierd one day and have kids most likly he will make u pay for half and he will pay for halp so my adivce 2 u is just to cut things off rn
ReplyBecause thatās how some people do it ! He didnāt have his father figure in his life but I feel like his mom would of told him how to treat a woman by now. I doubt she hasnāt had a conversation about being a gentleman.
Replyi think ur right cuz his mom is a woman and she would want him to treat any girl with respect
ReplyYou're exactly right. THE INVITER PAYS.
Boom: When he saw you paying for your drink, he should have stopped you. When he saw you make any kind of motion that you were reaching for your funds, girl...he should have stopped you. Because that's what a real GENTLEMAN would have done.
Since you don't feel any attraction or connection with him, I'd say yeah, just let him go. What's the point of continuing that? You gave him a chance, and paid for all your stuff, so you don't owe him anything.
Wouldn't you rather spend your time with someone you can't stop thinking about? I wouldš„°
ReplyThank youuu!!! I wanted a second opinion! Trust me when he said āoh no you go first ā I was like ohhh this aināt a dateā in my head of course. I wouldnāt expect him to pay every dateās food but mannnn! That kinda ruined my vibe the whole day tbh! But youāre right, I rather be with someone I canāt stop thinking abt.
ReplyIf you donāt feel anything and you truly think that itās not gonna work out you should leave him before he gets attached and you just end up hurting him. Also I agree with your idea on who invites should pay.
ReplyVery very true !! I will cut things with this guy as soon as possible! And I wanted to hear other opinions to be sure
ReplyHe should pay off the bat. Let em do it now. Once your in like a long relationship you tend to share everything dates, bills, everything. So enjoy it now. He is a nice guy but don't lead him on.
ReplyIf a guy asks me on a date and it's a cheap ass date where he wants 50/50 from me PLUS expects me to have sex with him on the first date... I'm going to: (1) leave him to his self, (2) block and delete, and finally (3) take myself a nice restaurant and pay for my own stuff as well as enjoy my evening.
Replyšš¼šš¼ Treat to self ! Lol frsss when he wanted to make out in his car I was like nooo. I blamed it on me being shy. But yea I couldnāt even kiss this guy.
ReplyAnd I did cut him out, If I had no connection. I didnāt want to keep wasting time.
Reply