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I woke up last night because he was crying and he said he doesn't think I love him as much as he loves me. I'm not a super affectionate person but he is. what can I do to show him that I do love him?? I feel bad now and he was crying a lot :( I just cuddled him and told him I loved him and he eventually stopped crying but I don't know if he believed me. I don't know what to dooo
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ReplyHey DON'T FEEL BAD. I'm sure he doesn't mean it this way but he's sorta emotionally manipulating you. When people are constantly saying stuff like "you don't love me" and "I'm not good enough for you" and blah blah blah, that's a form of emotional manipulation because they're trying to make you feel bad just because you don't show love the same way they want.
I had a gf who told me I didn't love her at least 20x a day! It made me feel horribly guilty and suffocated, and it was almost 2 years before I realized that she was doing this to gain control of the relationship. Like I said, I doubt your bf is consciously doing this to you, but he's doing it. DON'T FEEL BAD! You didn't do anything wrong!!
ReplyThis is an excellent perspective. I'd 100% agree.
For the OP: a case in point. I had a short term relationship back in early 2020 where my girlfriend had immediately stopped being affectionate with me. I didn't approach the situation by blaming her or saying g she didn't love me. My approach was to ask why, what went wrong, did I do something wrong, can we talk this out. She couldn't get back into the groove and things fell apart because it was something I wasn't willing to accept, so I left. I won't be denied the affection I seek again, or be made to feel like in somehow faulty. Which she did try to blame me for her sudden pull back. What I'm getting at is that I didn't approach the situation with blame, she did. That's never a good situation when it starts with blame. Immediate red flag. Either he needs to learn to better express himself or he needs to understand that his expectations aren't supposed to be demands. Either way, he needs to learn to not blame you for being you.
ReplyShow your love in the best ways you know how. Find his interests. Do something he'd really love. Smother him with affection. It's a 2 way street.
ReplyWhat ever you give him amplify it by 20x. Physical touch may be his primary love language. Whatever you think is good do a bit extra. Like grab his hand when your walking. Or pinch his butt and give him a little wink when your out. Some people need actual physical closeness to feel really close.
ReplyHey dear, calm down. People in love act in different ways. You love him too and if he's not feeling it ask him what can you do. I don't want to tag him as emotionally manipulative some people really need to be loved and constantly feel assured. If he wants a public confirmation than may be you guys can post a picture together on social media? Anything that helps do it. But let it not over burden you okay.
Take care, lots of love
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