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✨ Dear Writer of: "Girl Code"... ✨
1 month ago · · Advice, · Explicit
My opinion is simple.
NEVER share ex's with your best friends. Many people might say, "It's fine. It's normal." Everything will be fine if your best friend dates your ex. But yet, when you want to date one of their ex's, it's "illegal." I get it, it's off-limits to date your best friend's ex. But isn't it wrong and fucked up that your best friend is, somehow, allowed to date your ex??
Yup. It definitely is fucked up.
I get it. It's normal to catch a little feelings for your best friend's ex once they break up and he starts talking to you. It feels as if he knows you more than anyone else who talks to you, right?? But when you think about even talking to him as more than a friend, your friends come straight to you and restrict you from dating him. I'm just going to say one thing and one thing only:
They did the right thing. But they're also doing the wrong thing as well.
Why is it okay for them to date your ex? And you're okay with it?? Did something happen in the relationship? Did something occur to you that you didn't care about him or something? And don't worry, I'm not angry or anything. This is me trying to be helpful. Promise. But why do you not really think about how your friends restrict you from their ex when you can't restrict them from yours? There are VERY big consequences for best friends who date their ex's. Trust me.
Drama Involving Friends:
Last year, as a Freshman in High School, I broke up with my Junior boyfriend after he cheated on me with my two best friends after I left the school 10 minutes later. I didn't find out until my best friend told me. She was also the one who told me again after he cheated for the 3rd time. (We got back together but lasted a week since he cheated again.)
I let her (the girl who told me my ex cheated) date him because she started catching feelings. I didn't give a shit mainly because she was just going to go through the same thing I did. They lasted about a month and a half until he got karma. She cheated on him. But a few weeks before they broke up, they had sex and my best friend told me all the details that I did NOT want to hear. It was disgusting. But then he came running to me in tears saying how hurt he was that she cheated on him. Of course, I just said I was sorry. But I kindly told him how he fucked up too and deserved it.
Sophomore year (this year) I have no longer gave permission for my friends to date my ex. And I do not accept the offer from them letting me date their ex's. Why?? Because I don't do that shit. I am not the type of person to let my friends go through that pain. I am not like them. And I am the person I am today after I declined that.
Nobody really wants to hear how big their ex was from their best friend. How good he is. How amazing their relationship is with him. We get it. You're happy. You're living your best life. But why tell his ex-girlfriend the details when you have millions of other people to tell?? I wouldn't want my time wasted hearing all the disgusting details of my best friend having "fun" with my ex. Never. I'd drop them ASAP.
Moments From the Past:
Nobody really wants to hear how their best friend is having an amazing time dating their ex. I'm sorry but they really don't. Was there ever a time when you got emotional with your ex and you guys actually kept that memory alive? Well, now he/she's probably killing it. And not in a good way. There have been so many times where my friends come crying saying how hard it is to watch their best friend date their ex after they shared so many personal things with them during the past. And it hurts because they don't care. Their best friends don't give a shit.
In conclusion, my advice is to really think about whether or not you and your friends want to risk your friendship over who gets to date an ex. Whether it's their ex or yours. It's just not possible to have a steady friendship with someone who is dating their ex. I promise you it's not possible. And if most people say it is. I would definitely want to know how possible it is.