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My Unsent Letter to my beloved
4 weeks ago · · Suicide, · Explicit
Morgan,i'm deeply in love with you,and i want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to hurt anyone who comes near to you. I'm addicted to you.I just don't understand your feelings towards me. How can someone hate another person who has so much love for them?Why don't you understand me? Can't you see we are the same? Can't you see we were meant to be together? Why out of everyone in this entire fucking school do you have to hate me? It hurts so much..please don't abandon me again...you're supposed to be the one that stayed.Your supposed to be mine. Don't you remember me? Please don't forget me..im sorry....tell me why...im sorry..its not my fault i can fix this i'm just sick sick sick. I can get better for you i'm just not well.please don't leave me alone..i love you..please just stay...please just look at me..please just talk to me.....i'm sorry...please just remember me..it hurts so much..for you to be a stranger..you may think my feelings are disgusting..but you can relate can't you? I know you feel the same things I do. Just with someone else.After all we are the same. The only difference is that you'll always be wanted,and I'll be wanting.Its my divine punishment from the Universe you see. But they promised me that they would give me the sky when I reached my limit. A condolence prize for giving me such a sick sick head. ..won't you at least start over with me? I don't know what went wrong with our friendship,but maybe we can pretend it never happened and start new. Wouldn't that be nice? why does this always happen to me? Its my punishment from the universe...its my punishment for existing and leeching off everyone. Leeching off my parents for food shelter and love. Leeching the world for air and water. Leeching my friends for attention..i feel disgusting for living. for existing. So many countless loud quiet thoughts in my head.So unbearibly lonely but i cant handle being around people. I cant handle change...i cant handle your rejection...i cant handle being a stranger to you my love...why cant other poeple feel what i feel? Why do i seem to be the only one capable of harbouring these thoughts and urges and feelings? Why cant i remember anything? Why cant you remember me? Why does the universe hate me so much? is it so wrong to want to be loved? To feel wanted? To be the first person she thinks about when she wakes up? Why am i always the wanting side? WHY CANT I EVER BE THE WANTED?! Why do i always have to be the jealous one? The evil one? The unwanted one? The last resort? why?! WHYwhywhwywywhywhwyhwyhwyhwyhwywhy?!.......itll all be over soon though..ill wont be a leech anymore..ill be a bird and the universe will give me the sky..ill finally be out of everyones hair.. i wont burden anyone anymore...ill be gone soon i think..i cant wait..