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Hello everyone, especially the ones who have the same conditions, I am just an introvert. And unfortunately, the eldest daughter in my family. I am not comfortable to be in the crowd. I don't know what I should say or how I treat them. Do you know that there is still gender inequality in my country.
Household chores are the duty of women. If women can earn money, that is their duty too. But if a boy does not help with household chores, it is ok. He will earn money when he grows up. That is our society. In my family, I have to help my mom with no appreciation, I have to study to get well-paid job then I can support my family. Even if I try hard to get my mom's attention, I am not her fav child. But I love her so much. She loves me too, a little bit less than my brother.
I cannot show my love to people around me. I don't know how. That's why, they think that I don't love anyone and I only love myself. Actually, I want to be loved by others, to get warmness, to talk to everyone without any worries. But now, I don't dare to express my thoughts. I am afraid if I am wrong. I can't make conversation with others, eg, relatives, teachers, new friends, or cousins. I can't be friendly not because of being arrogant but because I care about my words.
I am over 20. I have never dated a boy. I am afraid if he does not love me as much as I do,or if he is done with me because I can't show how my feeling is, or if he chooses another girl than me like my mom did. I don't dare to love anymore. It already hurts me. Am I a fool?
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Yes. When it comes to dating you have a negative attitude which will get you nowhere. You should be enthused and looking forward to dating. If you want a husband you must date so look at dating as a good, exciting, and positive experience and your enthusiasm will come across to the man (or men) you date, and at the same time be a little wary at first.
ReplyThanks! I should have positive thinking in relationships.
ReplyThe commenter above made the huge assumption that you want a husband, but you never implied any of that. I relate to what you said because I also grew up sheltered and it resulted in me not wanting any relationships. There’s a big difference between that and your typical female who just wants to get married.
It isn’t just a fear or a “negative attitude” that we need to just get over. It’s more like a lack of interest. And I think that can be a good thing. It teaches you independence. You avoid heartbreak, potential abuse (which is way too common, even in countries where there is a degree of gender equality), and you avoid repeating the same subservient role that you obviously know too well. THIS is how to think positively. Don’t delude yourself into thinking the magic knight will sweep you onto his horse and you’ll live happily in an enchanted castle. Truly positive thinking is learning to appreciate your own independence, with or without a relationship. I vote for going without. Most people think that’s sad, but I think it’s terrific. Think of all the things you can accomplish without being inferior to a man in your own home. You are absolutely NOT a fool, although many envious people will say so, and they will tell you to find a husband (even though most likely they are miserable and lonely themselves). Use your “disadvantage” of not needing love as your greatest strength!
ReplyYour words encourage me a lot. I thought that nobody will understand me. But when you do, I feel energetic to move on. I forgot that being independent is my other side. Then you remind me of myself. Thank you! I will make my disadvantage of not needing love to be my greatest strength.
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