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5 months ago · · Grief,
i remember being able to just say "i'm upset" to you and you'd ask me what i was going through, helped me when i had the guts to tell you. i did the same to you. perhaps not in the same caliber, though. some of the things you told me still haunt me when i happen to remember them. i'm... glad that you're well off now, you didn't deserve any of it that happened. my issues were always ever so small compared to yours. but you've lived longer than me, you're a whole different person. you're bound to be more, have more happened to you. in good and bad ways. i wish i didn't think these things about anymore but i think about my lost friends a lot. you included. i see glimples of you sometimes. never had the heart to block you everywhere. like that one dude said "i may miss you from time to time but i'll cut off my hand before i reach for you again." i miss you now; my weak moment. maybe tomorrow the late-spring snow will make me feel better and forget about you for a moment again. indeed, the spaces between these moments grow longer. i just need to trust that some day, you'll barely be there. but do i want to forget you? that's a whole another question.