What are you looking for?
The Moment I Knew
1 week ago · · Love
You hear lots of stories from couples about the moment they knew that they had found the one.
"Oh, it was the way she looked at me that night under the moon."
"It was when I first felt her lips against mine."
"The moment the words "I love you" fell from his lips."
I often ponder this when I think of you. When did I know that I had fallen in love? Was it a subtle moment? Was it huge? Do I even remember?
I have come to the conclusion that the moment I realized you were the one was not just a singular moment. It was many.
The time when I was 13, and we were at your combined party celebrating your 13th birthday. We were playing tag with our friends and I climbed up into a tree, thinking no one would find me there. Suddenly, I looked down and I saw your shining blue eyes staring back into mine. You asked me to help you up and so I did. We sat up there for a while and just talked. The conversation could have been endless.
The time when we were at a football game. It was warm outside with enough breeze to make you cold. You and I went to my dad's car to get my sweatshirt. We walked with two other friends, and you came up behind and hugged me. You told me that I smelled like the shampoo you used up north. Your warm presence graced my body and I welcomed it with open arms.
The time when we sat on a blanket and watched the clouds. Trying to make shapes out of them and just enjoying the warm weather together. I asked you what the difference between maroon and burgundy was. At the time it was a question I couldn't get off my mind.
The time when I met you. You and your shaggy hair walked straight into first-hour math and also straight into my heart. I distinctly remember hearing myself say "I have to become friends with him".
The time when our lips touched for the first time. If only for a second. The feeling was indescribable, it went by so fast, and I overthought everything afterward. I am sorry for hurting you then.
The time when our lips touched for the second time. This time, I sat in your arms in the back of my mom's car. I looked up at you and you looked down at me and then, we kissed. I felt sparks coming out of my entire body. It felt like fire, consuming every inch of me. I cherish that feeling like there's no tomorrow.
The time we kissed and you pushed me against a pole underneath some bleachers. This kiss was unlike the last, it was hot and frustrating and full of lust. I felt it too. If two bodies could become one, we were.
The secret touches, like hand-holding under blankets, running fingertips over my thighs, grabbing my waist when we lay with friends. Touching things that make you really feel something. You were the first person I ever let become that close to me.
The late-night calls that you have no recollection of, where we stayed up till the early hours of the morning, and you always told me that you loved the sound of my voice because it felt like clouds.
The texting and the voicemails. Things that I would never delete because I couldn't bear to. My heart would shatter at the thought of losing that part of us.
For me, falling in love with you was a constant thing. I fell in love with you again and again. Each day falling farther and farther down the rabbit hole. All of the moments, the memories, I fell in love with each one. Slowly and surely falling in love with you.