Will all women hurt me?

I am a woman. In school I been bullied and been an outsider. At home, my mother was a rageholic. I only had my father. My father was there for me when I was little. But I couldn't tell him for 3 years that I dated my childhood friend and that she hurt me. She used me, and then she dumped me for a guy. I resented her deliberate choice to hurt me for 2 or more years while no longer being in contact. I feared telling my father. And when I was hurt and depressed he was cold to me and dismissive. I was all alone. Then I dated another girl after 2 years break. That girl didn't understand how I felt. I was anxious about her leaving me. She hanged out with bad people. She mocked me for not being dominant and not making moves to sleep with her. I was just scared of sleeping with someone who is going to leave me. After 3 months she no longer liked me and she gave up on me and avoided me. She passively aggressively suggested that I am a 'wannabe' and a fake 'dom'. I wasn't trying to do that. I was in pain and scared and I tried to cover my weakness with a brave demeanour. I no longer do that these days. I try to express my femininity. I broke up with her and she was glad, she said that she was sick of me and that she is better off without me. I cried many times at the library in the bathroom cubicles and she never knew. She didn't want to communicate with me or understand me, she didn't want to open to me either. At first she was this incredibly nice person and I loved her for that. Turns out she was cruel, shallow and selfish. She acted like she is above me. Little does she know I didn't like that she lied to me showing me pictures of when she was slim and younger on a dating profile. I didn't like that she wasn't interested in anything deep and mocked me for reading a psychology book. I was compromising on a lot. I had to resit my dissertation in Summer becaus eof this relationship and the trauma I have been. Anyways. When I go online to see what girls are out there all I see is party goers, girls who are superficial and demanding. I live abroad and I barely have 1 friend in my city, and 1 from university in another city I meet to once in a blue moon. I feel like I have no choice but to be alone.