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i am being left behind and i dont know how i feel about it. Everyone has a plan for their futures or even a couple of years in the future while i sit here in my room contemplating whether I should kill myself right then and now or if i should do it another time just for the sake of it. Its tiring and i dont know what to do. I try to cope with these things with trying to change my appearance or even trying to distract myself but its not working. the thoughts are always there they just hide for a little bit and make themselves known almost every single fucking second of everyday. I never catch a break. I dream about dying, killing myself, or even sacrificing myself for someone elses life. If i was ever put in these situations in actual life I would willingly offer my soul for the sake of others. Might as well use my thoughts to use. anyways
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