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I told my mother that i would like to go to the psychologist and she made fun of me. I don’t want my friends to know about it so I told my mom because I thought she would be understanding but she laughed in my face and told me to wake up. That there’s nothing wrong with me and I don’t need no help.
The truth is maybe I don’t, but I want to make sure. Im 16now and I know that now nobody takes depression seriously but I’ve been having suicidal thoughts about a year. From when I started high school. My best friend told me that I changed and I’m not me anymore. And at first I was like wth.. But now i kinda get it. I probably have social anxiety ( I was never before afraid to speak up) because when in school I can’t breathe. My heart is racing and I cant talk. This is starting to happen more frequently, the teachers don’t even ask me anything anymore (which I don’t mind) but sometimes I feel like I’m going to pass out. When I wake up I automatically think no I’m not going. It’s not like I’m being bullied , I just don’t fit in. I’m not smart like them and I don’t make an effort to be. I kind of hate myself. One day I’m all good and the next I can’t get out of bed because I’m sad. I’ve been thinking of killing myself but I haven’t done it because my mom probably won’t make it. I also have a brother so I don’t want them to be sad. I just ... It’s not like I want attention but I want to be carefree like I used to be and I want to not care what others think of me and I want to feel pretty and... This has been going on for around 2years or so. I wasn’t sure if I should go to the doctor but I somehow made myself confess to my mom but now I feel even worse.
Thanks for reading❤️ just wanted to vent
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It does sound like you should go to doctors. I’m sorry she won’t listen to you. My dad won’t listen to me either
Replyhey its okay, I feel maybe you should first express yourself to your mother so she has an idea of what you are feeling and gets the seriousness of the situation and realize that you have emotions too. Maybe she will end up understanding you better. Wanting to go to the therapist is completely fine and you shouldn't be embarrassed of it. You will go to discover yourself even more. Its a safe space you will not be judged , you will be given a chance to grow plus you will get a fresh perspective on your problems. Please dont hold back and talk to your mother about it.
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