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I had a roommate - a short, chubby Indian girl called Indian A-Piggy - at university. At the start of the semester, she enquired whether I had friends at the university. When I replied that I had none, she offered to introduce me to some of her friends. The first friend she introduced me to was a Indo-Caribbean girl, who immediately - on an evening during frosh week - proceeded to speak to me in a nasty, condescending tone. Looking back in surprise at my roommate, I saw a mean smile creep onto her face. Right as the first semester started, I walked in one day on her standing behind an Indian (Sikh) boy who was seated at my desk. He was using a computer that was plugged into my outlet. She proceeded to usher her friend out with a look of guilt upon her face. I asked her why she had brought a boy into my personal study space, where I stored most of my stuff. She replied that he needed to use the internet and, as she felt that I wasn't using mine, offered its use to her friend. I told her I was using my Ethernet and asked her not to bring people into my space, especially as she had commandeered most of the room for her own needs. Some days later, I found a group of white boys and a man in the same room - with A-Piggy wearing the same guilty look on her face - who walked out and addressed me roughly, telling me not to use multiple laptops at my desk. A-Piggy proceeded to leave the ceiling lights in our shared bedroom on almost every night, despite having working lights built into her desk, as well as a living space with a desk, chairs and Ethernet outlet right outside. As I had the top bunk, the bright lights kept me awake past 1:30 am practically every night for about 8 months. She would also invite her female friends over to bully me as a group, telling me that she/they and her/their course of study was far better than mine, then insist I date a male friend of hers, despite my obvious lack of interest in him (I constantly said no). She would use my kitchenware, making sure that they were filthy and at the bottom of a pile of unwashed dishes, without asking me or returning them washed. She refused to do any chores, claiming that her subjects were harder than mine so I should do her chores as well. One weekend, she walked in late with a group of her high school friends who attended other universities, carrying vodka coolers, and told me they - a mixed (boys and girls) group - would all be drinking. At the insistence of one of her male friends, who began eyeing me a lot, she invited me to join them. Uncomfortable with the male gaze, and not wanting to get into trouble for their underage drinking, I declined and said I was going out. I stayed out late at a movie night organized by the university, helping them pack up and only getting back just before midnight, hoping that the booze party had ended. Unfortunately, A-Piggy was passed out on her bed with all of her drunken pals still present and moving about, including a white girl who had locked herself in the washroom. With no response from A-Piggy and the sound of retching coming from the washroom, with worried girls outside it asking the girl inside to please open the door, I couldn't go to bed. I proceeded to get the girl to open the door, handed her my bucket in care she still needed to heave, ushered the girls into the bedroom, helped them set up a sleeping area, ensured that they didn't keep inviting the boys into the area that the girls were sleeping in, and wearily climbed into bed in the early a.m. The next day, the group of thanked me for not telling on them (which may have lead to an expulsion) or kicking them out to wander around in below freezing Winter weather. I firmly asked the girls not to come over again, especially as it was A-Piggy's responsibility to look after them, not mine. Aditi pulled a sour face, but her friends agreed. As A-Piggy was constantly inviting her friends on our campus - or her acerbic Pakistani boyfriend - over to our room on the weekends, the verbal abuse and sexual harassment continued. Our residence advisor refused to intervene, claiming that all the rooms were full so she would not be able to move either of us into another room. I began leaving campus every weekend, returning to find my sheets rumpled, with A-Piggy claiming that she had invited one of her friends - who was supposed to have shared the room with her and who was, according to her, the sister of the male friend mentioned earlier - to sleep in it. There were many more toxic events to deal with on a daily basis, which led to my having a terrible experience over those 2 semesters. At the end of the semester, my roommate left the place filthy, leaving me to clean up her mess (as usual). A-Piggy's selfish and toxic behavior, which appeared to stem from deep-rooted insecurities and petty jealousies, were not done. More than a decade later, she showed up in my building, and I only realized who she was later. Just recently, the building superintendent banged on my door and insisted on coming inside my apartment during the lockdown. I told him to check the neighboring/unoccupied unit, but he claimed that there was water leaking into lower units which could cause my space irreparable damage. He entered, stopped, then told a short girl to follow him in. Hidden behind a mask, an Indian girl who looked exactly like A-Piggy entered my space. An internet search revealed that she may have taken up a nursing/healthcare program. Years and distance don't seem to have cured A-Piggy of her envy and pettiness. Both the superintendent and her have shown no respect for my safety or personal boundaries. I have had people walking up to me, randomly insisting that I join a nursing program, during the years in which she recently showed up. They all don't care about me or my wishes, wanting me to cave in and give them everything they want, without having to work and get their own. These ignorant and nasty people should be careful: one day all the cruelty they have dealt out to one girl will come back to harm them in multiple ways. I have no time for vindictive stalkers, harassers and hateful people. Those who need to put others down or ruin lives out of spite do so because they feel unworthy and are unwilling to work on themselves instead.
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