I’m out

In 2014 someone confessed to me. Being a good girl i did not accept him easily. I was a soft hearted girl. I have seen many fail relationships that makes me don’t want a useless relationship. At first i say, I don’t want to have any special relationship with hi because I don’t like it when people leave me because once i put an effort, i am serious. He said he also serious. But he lies. He is not. I go through pain, a lot. Yes there is happiness also but what the point of having relationship if happiness and pain is equal. But I already serious at that time. I was hoping him to change. It was a rollercoaster journey that i could not even write it. This year I couldn’t take it anymore. When he said i no longer love you (he said many times before but still treat me as his gf) i truly walk away. He said he like be friend with me and don’t block him because he want us to keep in touch. But i said ‘you need to let me go for real if you want me to go’. He is speechless. I thought it was hard. But it is not that hard. I thought I would die of missing him. But here i am. Still alive after a month. Sometimes I wonder how he was doing although i know he is totally fine. I know he is not the only one to blame in this case. We drag this things too long. I hope no one feel like i feel. If I don’t find my soulmate i will be volunteering my whole life. Haha