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Overwhelming Gender Dysphoria- please help
7 months ago · · Nonbinary,
This year I'll be going off to college and I have no idea how I'm going to survive because my gender dysphoria is so intensely overpowering. I'm at a point where the only way I'm capable of being around people is wearing a huge heavy jacket that is suffocating when its hot out. Binding doesn't do anything for me and even if it did I have health issues that it aggravates. This year with distance learning from the pandemic I've spent so much time at home and in my room which was relieving so I don't have to be in a physical space with other people and also means I've spent days in my pajamas not having to worry as often about getting dressed. When I go to college though I won't even have my own space to escape to since I'll have to have a roommate. My major involves being in workshops and moving around so its not like I'll just be sitting in an air-conditioned classroom which would be another story. I'll be overheating and unable to do anything about it because my dysphoria. When I think about the whole situation I keep repeating the words in my head "I'm gonna die" because I have no idea how I'll survive any of this. I basically lost all my friends through the pandemic also so I have no support system here. This mental illness is something so extreme and draining I have so little ways of coping with it. My best out would be to get top surgery over the summer which would mean I'd have to come out as nb and book something asap because I don't know what the waitlist situation would be, so if anyone knows about the timeline process of that please let me know. Obviously thats so much easier said than done because I've been avoiding coming out for years and am irrationally petrified. I'm begging for help here, please leave a helpful comment. Thanks