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1 week ago · · Relationships,
Hi, I know you are in pain. But I can't be there for you because you'll just take it out on me. If I could talk to you without you getting upset at me...without you trying to make me look like the problem...if I could just say a few words to you...I'd say I love you...I'd wince, hoping you don't reject it because you've started to reject me only to make sure I don't reject you first. These words "I love you" have led to so much hurt that they're almost triggers to us now. Let me try saying again...I'll always be there for you. You see? It wasn't that hard.
You'll never get to hear me say this because you keep hurting me and pushing me away. You're so afraid of me hurting you, that you've learned to hurt me first, and then I hurt you back, and it's a continuous loop of hurt forever. Well...if you just waited, closed your eyes, and braced yourself for the pain, you would open your eyes to my arms wrapped around you. Because I don't want any more pain. I don't want any more blame, or hurt. I don't want to fight about who did what when and with who. Who cares whose fault it was? We broke up and we each did what we needed to in order to be ok. I've patched myself up enough to remember why I ever let you into my heart. We've had some turbulence, but if you just let it go, if you stopped needing to hurt me, we'd go back to where we've wanted to be this whole time...together </3