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1 week ago · · Suicidal Thoughts,
I hate this life in one very specific way. It is the agony of this experience which hurts so badly, that all I can do to keep my sanity is to hate it.and yet the pain goes on.
I am again and again rejected by women. And often because they assume I am a player. And it's been such a complicated comedy of misfortunes. That I'm just sad and I feel like I must be unlovable. I must bring absolutely nothing to the world worth loving. I just feel the full impact of rejection upon another. And then worse than the rejections themselves were the women who took advantage of me. And now I am a broken thing. At my most depressed, which isn't too far away today, I just think I would probably make the world better if I did commit suicide.
Like I must not be meant for love. To ever have a wife or a family. To ever know real love and pleasure and connection. I guess that I'm just not good enough for the other humans to accept me. So maybe I should just die. God this hurts in my heart.